My Parents Dumped My Disabled Sister On My Doorstep To Force Me Into Caregiving. I Called The Police And Aps On Them Immediately. Am I Wrong For Finally Choosing My Own Life?
The Burden of Childhood
My parents tried to force me to become my disabled sister’s caregiver after I gave up my entire childhood for her. So, I called Adult Protective Services for abandonment.
So, I’m 25 and have been living on my own for three years in this ground-floor flat that I worked my ass off to afford. My older sister, Holly, is 32 and has cerebral palsy and learning disabilities that mean she needs round-the-clock care. My parents have been her caregivers her whole life, and honestly, my entire childhood revolved around Holly’s needs.
I never got birthday parties because Holly couldn’t handle the noise. Never did sports because my parents couldn’t drive me to practice and watch Holly at the same time. Never had friends over because Holly needed quiet.
Every family vacation was to the same handicap-accessible cabin two hours away because Holly couldn’t handle change. I moved out at 18 the second I could and got a job at a call center while going to night school. I worked 60-hour weeks to get my degree in graphic design.
The Ambush
I finally got a remote job that pays decent. I found this flat that’s perfect for me. Close to shops, has a little garden, everything I never had growing up. My parents visited maybe twice the whole time I’ve lived here.
They only called when they needed me to watch Holly so they could go to a doctor’s appointment or grocery shopping. I always said yes, even though Holly would scream the entire time and throw things at me because she didn’t like change.
Six months ago, my dad started making comments about how my flat would be perfect for Holly. It’s all one level, wide doorways, accessible bathroom. He kept pointing out modifications I could make to accommodate her wheelchair better. I laughed it off, thinking he was just making conversation.
Then my mom started asking about my work schedule, how flexible it was, whether I could work while caring for someone. I told her I was happy with my current situation and changed the subject. Two months ago, they invited me for dinner and ambushed me.
They’d already talked to Holly’s social worker about transferring her care to me. They’d looked into government assistance I could get as her caregiver. They’d even figured out how to modify my flat using some grant money. They presented this whole plan about how I’d take Holly during the week and they’d take weekends.
I said absolutely not. My mom started crying about how tired they were, how they’d given up everything for Holly, and now it was my turn to help. My dad said I was being selfish living alone in a flat that could house Holly when they were struggling.
I reminded them that I’d already given up my entire childhood for Holly. No dance classes, no sleepovers, no college visits because everything was about Holly. They said that was different. I was a child then and didn’t understand sacrifice. Now I was an adult and needed to step up. I left and didn’t speak to them for two weeks.
The Campaign Begins
Then they started their campaign. They told every relative that I was abandoning my disabled sister. My aunt called me crying about how could I let Holly suffer. My grandma said she was disappointed in me. My cousins posted about ableism and family responsibility on Facebook, clearly aimed at me.
My parents started bringing Holly to my flat uninvited, leaving her at my door saying they had emergencies. The first time, I let them in and watched her for six hours while they disappeared.
The second time, I called Adult Protective Services and reported abandonment. My parents had to rush back and deal with a social worker. They were furious but couldn’t say much with the social worker there.
Then they tried guilt. They had Holly call me crying, saying she missed me and wanted to live with me. I knew they coached her because Holly never expressed complex thoughts like that. They sent me photos of Holly looking sad with captions about how she needed her sister.
They even made a scrapbook of us as kids to show our bond, ignoring that in every photo I looked miserable while Holly got all the attention. The last straw was when they called my employer. They told my boss I was needed for a family medical emergency and might need to take extended leave to care for my disabled sister.
My boss was understanding but concerned about my ability to maintain my workload. I had to explain everything and promise it wouldn’t affect my job. That’s when I decided to end this permanently.
Seeking Legal Counsel
I spent the whole weekend sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop, searching through lawyer websites and reading reviews until my eyes hurt. I typed in things like “family harassment lawyer” and “forced caregiving legal help” and scrolled through dozens of results.
Most of the lawyers had these fancy websites with stock photos of people shaking hands, but I needed someone who actually understood what my parents were doing. Around evening, I found Amelia Coleman’s site. Her bio said she specialized in boundary violations and family coercion, which sounded exactly right. She posted about adult children being pressured into caregiving roles they never agreed to. And I felt like she was describing my exact situation.
I filled out her contact form right there, typing out the basics about my parents showing up uninvited and calling my boss. She had an opening Monday morning at 9:00, so I booked it and spent the rest of the weekend trying not to think about how much this was going to cost.
Monday morning, I logged into the video call five minutes early, sitting in my home office with a notebook full of dates and details I’d written down. Amelia appeared on screen right at 9:00. She looked maybe 40, with short dark hair and these sharp eyes that made me feel like she was already analyzing everything.
I started explaining the situation, trying to keep my voice steady, but within the first two minutes, she stopped me. She said what my parents were doing wasn’t just annoying or pushy. It was financial and emotional abuse. The word abuse hit me hard because I’d been thinking of it as just family drama, but she explained that their campaign to force me into caregiving had actual legal implications.
She asked about the call to my employer, and I showed her the email my boss had sent after my parents contacted him. Amelia leaned forward and said, “That was workplace interference and we could use it.”
Documenting the Harassment
We spent the next hour going through everything systematically. She had me pull up my phone to show her the guilt trip texts, the photos of Holly they’d sent, the Facebook posts from relatives. She made notes about the two times they’d shown up at my flat, and especially the second time when I’d called Adult Protective Services.
She asked if I had the police report from that incident, and I told her the officer had given me a case number. She said to get a copy of that report immediately because documentation was everything.
By the end of the call, I had a list of things to gather, including a timeline of every incident since the dinner ambush two months ago. And I felt like someone finally believed this wasn’t just me being dramatic.
