At The Baby Shower, Someone Asked When We’d Start A Family…

It’s not even meant for me. It is like I’m not a person who can hear things, just a problem to be managed.,

I turn back and make eye contact, but I don’t say anything. I just keep walking.

I pass Reagan in the hallway and she tries to block me for a second. She says:

“Oh, come on, Gemma, it was just a joke.”

I don’t even answer, I just push past her. I knock over a little tray of party favors on the way out.

She acts like I pulled a gun and gasps, but I just keep going. When I get to the front door, one of Randall’s aunts tries to grab my arm.

I pull away and say:

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

I open the door and slam it behind me. I can hear Randall’s voice raised inside, half apologizing and half blaming me, but I don’t care.

Seeking Refuge and the Digital Circus

I get in his car and just sit there for a minute shaking. I text my friend Meline and she asks:

“Do you want to come over?”

So I drive to her place and just sit in her kitchen for like two hours eating leftover pizza and talking about literally anything else. I don’t even want to look at my phone, but it keeps buzzing.,

Group chat notifications are coming in with Randall’s name, Reagan’s name, and his mom. I turn it off and shove it in my bag.

I don’t go home that night. I text my mom just so she doesn’t worry and she says she’ll call me in the morning.

She’s not surprised, which should probably tell you something about how these things have been going. The whole time I keep thinking, what the hell did I just witness?

I know Randall can be a jerk but this was like next level. I get that he likes to be funny or thinks he is, but this wasn’t teasing; this was mean.

It wasn’t just him. Everyone else joined in or let it happen or watched like it was a show.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to just laugh this off, but I don’t think I can. I keep replaying the way he grabbed my arm and the way his mom said to control your wife.

I remember the way Reagan tried to physically block me from leaving like I was a dog off leash or something. It all feels deliberate, like they want to see if I’ll break.,

Honestly, I think Randall acts this way because he’s embarrassed that I don’t worship his family the way everyone else does. He gets defensive when I point out stuff that’s weird or mean.

He’s told me before that I make things awkward because I won’t just play along. I think he likes being the funny guy and the golden child, especially in front of his mom.

I think Reagan just hates that I don’t laugh at her jokes or that I don’t fit into the little box she has for the wife of the family. I don’t know why else someone would act like that except that they’re used to getting away with it.

I spent the rest of the night at Meline’s. When I woke up, there were like 30 unread messages in the family group chat.

Randall tried calling, but I didn’t answer. His mom texted my mom apparently, which is how I know she’s very disappointed in me for causing a scene.

No one seems to care that he humiliated me in front of everyone. I don’t even think they see it as a big deal.,

I’m supposed to just let it go because that’s what good wives do. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet, but I’m not going to just roll over and let them treat me like this.

I’m not the one who needs to apologize. I think I’m done pretending this is normal.

I’m still mad and I’m not going home. Randall’s going to have to find his own ride back from his mom’s house because I am not picking him up.

The Fam Jam Fallout

I don’t even care if he has to Uber. Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I’m not sure what happens next but I don’t think I’m going to just forget about this. Here I am again because apparently my life is just a series of group chats and awkward family politics now.

Honestly, if I don’t write this out, I’m going to lose it. After I left that nightmare baby shower, I crashed at my friend Meline’s place.,

She didn’t ask a ton of questions, just handed me some sweats and let me raid her freezer. I was honestly expecting like a couple missed calls from Randall or maybe a half-assed apology.

What I got the next morning was a full-on digital circus. My phone was blowing up before I even opened my eyes.

I open the main family group chat. They call it the “Fam Jam,” which makes me cringe every time.

It’s basically a roast session. At first, it’s just Randall asking if anyone’s heard from me.

Then his mom jumps in with a passive-aggressive question about whether I’m feeling better and how everyone’s very concerned. But it gets worse.,

Reagan posts a meme of a cat with “drama queen” in big letters. Then it turns into this weird debate.

Some people are saying I overreacted. Others are asking why I had to storm out since it was just a joke.

A couple of people, thank you Ariana, are trying to calm things down but it’s like talking to a wall. Randall’s aunt says something about how some people just can’t handle family traditions.

How is public humiliation a tradition? Am I missing something or is this just a thing people do?

Randall’s mom texted my mom separately and my mom forwarded it to me. The message said:

“Maybe you can talk some sense into Gemma. She’s upsetting everyone and it’s not good for the family.”

My mom’s reply was basically:

“I’ll check in with her.”

So no help there. Then my own family group chat lights up.,

My mom is trying to play peacekeeper. She suggests:

“Maybe I should come home for dinner and talk things through.”

My dad sends a thumbs up emoji and nothing else, which is just classic him. My sister, who is also named Meline, goes rogue and starts sending me TikToks about toxic in-laws.

She says:

“You should go full scorched earth.”

I almost laugh, which is the closest I’ve come to smiling since the baby shower. I tell my mom I’m not ready to talk to Randall.

She says she understands, but I can tell she thinks I should just let it go or smooth things over. She’s always been like that: avoid conflict and don’t make waves.

My sister is like:

“You better not cave on this.”

I’m honestly glad she has my back, even if she’s a little too into revenge plots sometimes. Randall tries calling, so I let it go to voicemail.

Then he texts saying I’m making things worse and I should just apologize so everyone can move on. I literally laugh out loud at that.,

Am I the one who made things worse? Am I the one who made a joke out of my partner in front of a room full of people?

I start typing out a reply but delete it three times. I can’t figure out how to say what I want to say without sounding as petty as them.

I don’t even know what I want from him at this point. An apology? For him to get it just once?

I’m not holding my breath. Then Reagan starts up again in the group chat posting another meme.

This time it’s a stock photo of a woman rolling her eyes with “here comes the drama” in comic sans. I want to throw my phone.

Instead, I just mute the chat and go for a walk around Meline’s neighborhood. It’s freezing out but it helps.

I call my friend and rant for a solid 10 minutes. She just listens and asks:

“Do you want to stay another night?”

I say yes. When I get back, there’s another wave of messages.

Escalation and Ultimatums

Randall is trying to DM me separately. He says he didn’t mean it but also that I know how his family is and I shouldn’t take things so personally.,

He says:

“If I just come home we can talk it out.”

I text back:

“You embarrass me on purpose.”

He leaves me on read. Then out of nowhere, Reagan screenshots our DM and posts it in the Fam Jam.

She adds:

“Wow someone’s off their meds.”

I see it because Ariana immediately texts me a screenshot of that. She says:

“I’m so sorry, this is so out of line.”

I actually see red for a second. I’m not even on meds, but even if I was, what the hell?

I text Reagan:

“Delete that now or I will make sure everyone knows exactly what you said about your mom at Christmas.”

She deletes it. I don’t say anything else; I just want her to know I’m not playing nice anymore.

After that, Randall’s mom tries to call me and leaves a voicemail. She says:

“Gemma, you need to stop causing drama. This isn’t how we handle things in this family.”

I don’t even listen to the rest. I decide screw it, I’m not hiding.,

I post in the family group chat:

“I’m not your clown, I’m not here for your entertainment, and I’m not putting up with the jokes anymore. If any of you want to talk to me like adults I’m here. If not, leave me alone.”

I type it out, reread it, and hit send before I can overthink. The chat goes silent for five minutes.

Then Randall’s aunt chimes in:

“See, this is what I mean about outsiders not understanding.”

I leave it. I’m not going to argue with someone who thinks cruelty is just tradition.

Later that night, Randall actually shows up at Meline’s apartment. I don’t even know how he found the address but I guess he checked my location on Find My iPhone.

Meline opens the door and just stands there with her arms crossed. Randall tries to act all wounded and says:

“Can we please just talk?”

I say:

“Not here.”

He says: