At The Baby Shower, Someone Asked When We’d Start A Family…

“You can’t keep avoiding me forever.”

I go:

“Watch me.”

He tries to step inside but Meline blocks him. He says:

“You’re making this worse, Gemma.”

I say:

“You already did that.”

He says:

“You’re my wife, you have to talk to me.”

I say:

“Not tonight.”

He starts getting louder, so Meline tells him to leave or she’s calling the building manager. He leaves, slamming the door.

I thank her and she asks:

“You’re not staying married to that guy, right?”

I say:

“I don’t know.”

My mom calls again and says she’s worried. She thinks I should come home and get some space.

My dad gets on the phone for two seconds and just says:

“If he shows up here, I’ll handle it.”

I actually feel better after that. The next day, Randall’s mom tries to get my mom involved again like I’m some teenager who needs to be disciplined.

My mom says Gemma’s an adult and she’ll decide what she wants to do. I’m shocked; I didn’t know she had it in her.

Still, no one from Randall’s side actually apologizes for anything. They just want me to stop making a scene.

That night I call my sister and just vent for a while. She says:

“You know they’re never going to change, right? You have to decide if you want to live with this forever.”,

I say I don’t. She says:

“Then don’t.”

It’s not that easy, but I know she’s right. By now I’ve packed a bag and moved back in with my parents for a bit.

Randall keeps texting. He says he misses me but also that I owe his family an apology.

I don’t reply. He tries calling again.

He emails me to say he just wants things back to normal. I delete it.

I keep thinking about why Randall acts like this. Is it just his family, or is it me?

I don’t think he actually hates me. I think he’s just scared of not fitting in with his family or being seen as “whipped.”

He’s told me before that his mom always rides him if he doesn’t keep things under control. So I guess he gets points for “handling” me.

It’s all just so childish. I start seeing little things differently now.

I see the way his family always closes ranks when someone calls them out. I see how Randall always wants to be the funny guy no matter who he throws under the bus.

I think I always hoped he’d grow out of it. Now I’m not so sure.

I’m not sure what my next move is, but I know I’m not going back to the way things were. I’m not going to be the family punching bag.

I’m not apologizing for standing up for myself. If Randall wants to pick his family over me, then fine, he can have them.

I have my own people even if they’re a little messy and sometimes too honest. So yeah, that’s where things are right now.

I’m at my parents’ house. My mom’s making too much food, my sister’s sending me memes about girl boss revenge, and Randall’s blowing up my phone from random numbers.

I don’t know how this ends, but I’m not just rolling over.

A Seat at the Table

It’s been a few days since I basically dropped off the face of the earth as far as Randall’s family is concerned. I’ve been at my parents’ house.

My mom keeps making soup and acting like I’m 12. My dad mostly keeps out of it, except for one time he grunted something:

“You don’t deserve that.”

Which for him is like a whole speech. My sister has been living for the drama, but also texting me every day to make sure I’m not backing down.,

At one point I started to doubt myself, like maybe I was being dramatic. But then I read back through the group chat memes and the DMs and just… yeah, no.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon Randall’s mom texts me. She’s inviting me to a family dinner at some place they all love, the one with the chairs that wobble and the breadsticks everyone fights over.

She says it’s to clear the air and move past this “unfortunate drama.” I almost laugh because it’s so on brand.

Invite me somewhere public so I can’t cause a scene. I show my mom the text and she says:

“Maybe it’s a chance to get some closure.”

My dad just goes:

“Do what you want, but don’t let them talk you into anything.”

For two hours I debate going. Part of me wants to never see these people again.

But then I remember the way Randall tried to “handle” me at the baby shower and his mom telling him to “control your wife.” I get mad all over again.

So I text my sister:

“Want to come to a weird family dinner as my emotional support human?”

She replies with just the skull emoji and:

“Hell yes.”

So that’s settled. We drive over together while Meline’s blasting music.

I’m just scrolling through my notes app, rereading all the stuff I want to say if I get the chance. I almost chicken out and delete it, but Meline grabs my phone.

She says:

“Don’t let them gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem.”

She’s right. We get to the restaurant and the hostess gives us that look like:

“Oh, you’re with that group.”

The whole family is there: Randall, his mom and dad, Reagan, two aunts, an uncle, and even Ariana who just looks tired. Everyone’s pretending to be chill, but it’s as fake as their smiles.

Randall stands up like he’s going to hug me, but I just nod and take a seat at the end of the table. Meline sits next to me, arms crossed, staring everyone down.

The energy is so weird. It’s like they’re all waiting for me to apologize.

They start with small talk but it’s stiff. Randall’s dad is talking about his car and someone brings up the weather.,

I just run my finger along the menu and nod every so often. No one brings up the baby shower, but I can feel it.

It is like everyone’s just waiting for the main event. Reagan, who for some reason decided to wear sunglasses indoors, keeps whispering to her aunt and looking at me.

Finally, after the server drops off drinks, Randall’s mom clears her throat. She goes:

“So, I think we all know why we’re here. I’d like to move forward, but we can’t do that if people keep holding grudges.”

She looks right at me, then at Randall, then back at me. She says:

“It would be helpful if everyone could apologize for their part in this so we can all put it behind us.”

I almost spit out my water. Randall jumps in and says:

“We all said some things, but I think you overreacted, Gemma. I just want things to go back to normal.”

Reagan snorts and mutters:

“Some people don’t even know what normal is.”

I look at Meline and she just raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to do something. For a second I almost just let it go.,

I almost say nothing because that’s what I’ve always done. But this time I’m too pissed.

The List of Grievances

I pull out my phone and open my notes. I say:

“Actually, I have a list.”

Randall’s mom looks confused and Reagan rolls her eyes. I start reading.

I say:

“Starting from the first time I met you guys, here’s a few things you’ve all said to me, just so we’re clear about what’s just a joke and what’s actually mean.”

I read off the pasta salad comment from Reagan and the time Randall’s mom said I’d never fit in until I wore a dress like hers. I read the group chat memes, the “drama queen” stuff, and even Randall’s comment about not wanting kids with negativity.

I don’t yell, I just read. The table gets quiet, like really quiet, except for one aunt who keeps sipping her wine.

Randall interrupts and says:

“Okay, but you know we’re just joking, right? We don’t mean it.”

I say:

“You laughed at me, not with me. You made me the punchline for your own entertainment and you didn’t care if it hurt me.”

Reagan goes:

“Oh my god, are we really doing this?”

I say:

“Yeah, we are.”

Then I look right at Randall and say:

“You want to talk about normal? How about the fact that you told me last month you didn’t want kids because you couldn’t risk me turning them against you?”

I continue:

“How about how you said you’re not ready to be tied down, but you are ready to use me as a prop for your family jokes?”

I say:

“I’m done being your shield. If you want to keep playing the golden child, you can do it without me.”

Randall’s face goes red. He tries to cut me off and says: