Family Disowned Me 8 Yrs Ago For What I Did To My Twin After I Discovered He’s Been Sleeping W/ My G

The Family’s Impossible Ultimatum

I didn’t respond to either of them. Instead, I called my parents; I figured they should know what their golden boy had done.

“Hey sweetie,”

Mom answered.

“What’s up?”

“I need to tell you something. Ethan’s been sleeping with Amanda for the past six months.”

There was silence. Then,

“What?”

I laid it out: everything. Finding them in my apartment, the six months of lying—all of it.

There was more silence. Then Dad got on the phone.

“Now son, I’m sure there’s been some kind of misunderstanding. Have you talked to Ethan about this?”

“Talk to him? I walked in on them in my bed.”

“Well, people make mistakes. Young people especially. I’m sure if you all sit down and discuss this maturely—”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I’m saying that family is important. More important than some girl. You and Ethan need to work this out.”

“Work this out? He betrayed me for six months.”

“Don’t be dramatic, Jake. These things happen in relationships. The mature thing to do is forgive and move forward.”

I hung up. I sat there staring at my phone.

My dad had just told me to get over my brother sleeping with my girlfriend because family is important. That night, I barely slept.

I kept replaying everything in my head. Every time Amanda had canceled plans, every time Ethan had stopped by when I wasn’t home, every family dinner where they’d sat across from me knowing what they were doing.

The next day, I changed my locks and packed up everything Amanda had left at my place into a box. I drove to her apartment and left it outside her door with a note that said, “Lose my number.”

Then I blocked both of them on everything: phone, social media, and email. Complete radio silence.

Two days later, my mom called.

“Jake, we need to talk about this situation with Ethan and Amanda.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes, there is. You’re not speaking to your brother. The family is very upset about this.”

“The family is upset? About Ethan sleeping with my girlfriend?”

“About you refusing to forgive him. He made a mistake. You’re being stubborn.”

“A mistake is forgetting someone’s birthday. This was six months of deliberate betrayal.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Amanda wasn’t even your wife. You’re acting like this is some huge tragedy when really it’s just young people figuring out their feelings.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“I’m hearing a son who’s putting his pride above his family. Ethan feels terrible about this. He’s been very upset. You need to be the bigger person and forgive him so we can all move past this.”

“Ethan feels terrible? Poor Ethan. Must be so hard for him.”

“Your sarcasm isn’t helping. We’re having a family dinner this Sunday. You and Ethan need to work this out like adults.”

“I’m not coming.”

“Yes, you are. This family doesn’t fall apart because of some girl.”

“This family fell apart when my brother betrayed me and my parents decided to take his side. Tell Ethan I hope it was worth it.”

I hung up and blocked Mom’s number too. Sunday came and went.

I didn’t go to the dinner. Instead, I spent the day looking at apartments in Portland.

My lease was up in two months, and I’d already been planning to move there with Amanda. Now, I’d just go alone.

Monday morning, my phone rang from a number I didn’t recognize. I answered, thinking it might be work. It was Dad.

He’d called from his office number.

“Jake, your mother is beside herself. You missed family dinner. We need to resolve this.”

“By resolve, you mean I need to pretend nothing happened?”

“I mean you need to stop being selfish. Ethan is your twin brother. You shared a womb with him. That bond is more important than some temporary relationship with a girl you probably would have broken up with anyway.”

“How did you figure that?”

“Because you’re young. First relationships rarely last. But family is forever.”

“So I should just forget that he spent six months lying to me?”

“I’m saying you need perspective. Yes, Ethan made a poor choice, but you making this into some family crisis is equally wrong. He’s apologized. Amanda’s apologized. The mature thing is to accept that and move forward.”

“He hasn’t apologized to me. Nobody has actually apologized to me.”

“Because you won’t talk to anyone. You’re being a child about this.”

“I’m being a child? I’m the only one acting like this was wrong.”

“You know what your problem is, Jake? You’ve always been rigid. Always had to have everything your way. Life doesn’t work like that. People mess up. You need to learn flexibility.”

“And you need to learn that sleeping with your brother’s girlfriend isn’t a forgivable mess-up.”

“If you don’t come to next Sunday’s dinner and apologize to Ethan for creating this drama, you’re no longer welcome at family events. Your mother and I have discussed this. We’re not letting you tear this family apart with your stubbornness.”

The ultimatum hung in the air: apologize to Ethan for being mad that he betrayed me, or get cut off.

“Then I guess I’m no longer welcome at family events,”

I said.

“Jake!”

I hung up. This time, I blocked Dad’s work number too.

Eight Years in Portland

For the next week, extended family started calling: aunts, uncles, cousins—everyone had the same message. I was being unreasonable.

Ethan had made a mistake, and I needed to forgive him. Family was more important than pride.

Not a single person asked how I was doing. Not one person acknowledged that what Ethan did was wrong.

It was all about how I needed to get over it for the sake of family unity. My Uncle Dave actually spoke to me.

“Is this really worth destroying the family over? So your brother made a mistake. Big deal. You think you’re perfect?”

I tried explaining it wasn’t about perfection. It was about trust and betrayal and six months of lying, but nobody wanted to hear it.

The final straw came three weeks after I’d found them. My grandmother called.

“Jacob, I’m very disappointed in you. Your brother made a little mistake and you’re punishing the entire family for it. This isn’t how I raised your father to raise his children.”

“Grandma, Ethan slept with my girlfriend for six months.”

“So? She wasn’t your wife. You weren’t married. They’re young people with feelings. You need to grow up and stop acting like a spoiled brat.”

“A spoiled brat for being upset about being betrayed?”

“Yes. Spoiled brats make everything about themselves. Ethan and Amanda have real feelings for each other. They’re talking about getting serious, but you’re making it impossible with your tantrum.”

My stomach dropped.

“They’re getting serious?”

“Yes. They want to date properly, but they feel guilty because of you. You need to give them your blessing so everyone can move on.”

“Give them my blessing?”

“Yes. Be a man about this. Tell Ethan you forgive him and you’re happy for him and Amanda. Then everyone can stop walking on eggshells.”

I hung up without responding. I sat there in my apartment alone, realizing my entire family had chosen Ethan’s comfort over acknowledging what he’d done to me.

That night, I got a group text from my extended family: parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. The message was from Dad.

“Family meeting Sunday at 2 p.m. Everyone must attend. Jake, this is your final chance to apologize to Ethan and make this right. If you don’t show up, you’re choosing to remove yourself from this family.”

I stared at that text for probably an hour. The words “final chance to apologize” kept running through my head.

Apologize? Like I’d done something wrong?

I typed out a response: “I’m not apologizing for being hurt by betrayal. If accepting that betrayal is the price of being in this family, then i guess i’m out.”

I hit send, then I left the group chat. Within minutes, individual texts started flooding in.