I Came Home From A Hospital Shift To Find My Fiancée And Baby Gone. The Police Called It A “Civil Matter” And Refused To Help. How Do I Find My Daughter?
Preparing for Testimony
Jeffrey called me the next week. “The final custody hearing is scheduled.”
“When?”
“Late April. That’s 6 months after the paternity test confirmed you’re Lily’s father. We have about four weeks to prepare.”
“What do we need to do?”
“We need to organize all our evidence. Witness testimony from Haley, Christopher, your mother, Becca’s mother. Documentation of the home studies. Megan’s psychological evaluation. Everything that shows you’re the stable parent and that Keith’s presence creates an unsafe environment.”
Jeffrey paused. “We also need to prepare you to testify. You’ll be on the stand answering questions about your relationship with Lily, your parenting abilities, your home and work situation.”
I felt nervous. “What if I mess up?”
“You won’t. We’ll practice. I’ll ask you every possible question so you’re ready. This is it, Jason. This is what we’ve been working toward.”
“I know. I’m ready.”
Over the next few weeks, Jeffrey and I met multiple times. He asked me questions and I practiced answering. “Why do you want custody of Lily?”
“Because she’s my daughter and I love her. I want to be her father everyday, not just on weekends.”
“What makes you a good parent?”
“I’m stable. I have a good job and a safe home. I’m patient and loving with Lily. She’s bonded with me and she’s happy when we’re together.”
“How will you balance work and parenting?”
“My mother will help. I’ve arranged daycare near the hospital. I’ve adjusted my schedule to work four 10-hour shifts instead of five 8s. I have a plan and support.”
We went through dozens of questions. Jeffrey made notes on my answers, suggested better ways to phrase things. By the third practice session, I felt more confident.
The hearing was scheduled for the last week of April. 6 months of fighting was coming to a decision point.
A Desperate Move
3 days before the hearing, Becca filed a last-minute motion. Jeffrey called me immediately. “She’s claiming you have a drinking problem.”
“What? I don’t have a drinking problem.”
“I know. It’s a desperate move. She’s trying to throw anything at the wall to see what sticks.”
“What do we do?”
“We disprove it. I’ve already contacted your employer. They’re willing to provide testimony about your work performance and the fact that you’ve never shown up impaired. You also have random drug testing results from the hospital that are all negative. We’ll present all of that. The judge isn’t going to buy this claim.”
At the hearing, Becca’s lawyer presented their motion. “Your Honor, we have concerns about the father’s alcohol consumption and its impact on his ability to parent.”
Jeffrey stood. “Your Honor, this is a baseless accusation made at the last minute. We have evidence that directly contradicts this claim.”
My employer testified, “I’ve supervised Jason for 4 years. He’s never missed a shift, never shown any signs of impairment. His performance reviews are excellent. He undergoes random drug and alcohol testing as required by hospital policy. All results have been negative.”
The judge looked annoyed. “Do you have any actual evidence of a drinking problem?”
Becca’s lawyer shuffled papers. “The mother reports that he drinks beer after his shifts.”
Jeffrey responded. “Having an occasional beer is not evidence of a drinking problem. The drug testing results prove there’s no substance abuse issue.”
The judge cut him off. “I’ve heard enough. This motion is denied. Proceed with the custody hearing.”
Becca’s lawyer looked embarrassed. Becca stared at the table.
The Final Hearing
The final hearing began. Jeffrey called me to testify first. I walked to the stand and was sworn in. Jeffrey started with easy questions. “State your name and occupation for the record.”
“Jason Miller. I’m a registered nurse at County Hospital.”
“How long have you been employed there?”
“Four years.”
Jeffrey walked me through my relationship with Becca, Lily’s birth, and Becca’s disappearance. Then he asked about my bond with Lily. “Tell the court about your relationship with your daughter.”
“I love Lily more than anything. When Becca left with her, I spent every day trying to find them. Once I got visitation, I never missed a single visit. Lily knows me now. She calls me Daddy. We have a strong bond. She’s happy and comfortable with me.”
“What kind of father do you want to be?”
“I want to be there for everything. School events, bedtime stories, teaching her to ride a bike. I want to be the person she can count on. I acknowledge I’m not perfect. I’m still learning. But I’ve never wavered in wanting to be her father.”
I paused. “Becca took 6 months from us. 6 months of Lily’s life that I can’t get back. But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
I saw people in the courtroom wiping their eyes. My mother was crying. The judge was listening carefully, taking notes.
Jeffrey asked more questions about my home, my support system, my plans for child care. I answered everything honestly. When he finished, Becca’s lawyer cross-examined me.
“But you work long shifts. How will you manage a toddler?”
“With help from my mother. In daycare. Lots of working parents manage. I have a solid plan.”
“You’ve only had unsupervised visits for a few months. How do you know you can handle full-time parenting?”
“Because I’ve been doing it during those visits. I’ve handled tantrums, meals, naps, all of it. I’m her father. I can do this.”
The cross-examination continued, but I felt good about my answers. When I stepped down, Jeffrey looked satisfied.
Becca took the stand next. Her lawyer asked her questions about why she left. “I felt unsupported. Jason was always working. I was alone with a newborn. I needed help.”
“Why didn’t you tell Jason you were leaving?”
“I was scared. Our relationship had become toxic. I needed to protect myself and Lily.”
Jeffrey stood for cross-examination. “Ms. Anderson, you testified that you felt unsupported. Did you ever communicate these concerns to Jason before you left?”
Becca hesitated. “I tried.”
“How specifically did you try? Did you tell him you were unhappy? Did you suggest counseling? Did you ask for more help?”
She looked uncomfortable. “I don’t remember exactly.”
“You don’t remember, but you remember feeling unsupported?”
Becca’s voice got defensive. “Yes, I remember feeling alone and scared.”
Jeffrey continued. “You also testified that your relationship was toxic. Can you provide specific examples of toxic behavior?”
Becca faltered. “He was controlling.”
“How was he controlling? Did he restrict your activities? Monitor your communications? Prevent you from seeing friends or family?”
She glanced at Keith in the gallery. “He just was.”
Jeffrey pressed. “You can’t provide specific examples because there aren’t any, correct? The relationship wasn’t toxic. You simply wanted to be with Keith.”
“Objection!” Becca’s lawyer stood.
The judge sustained it, but the damage was done. Jeffrey moved on. “You’re currently living with Keith, correct?”
“Yes.”
“The home study found holes in walls from Keith punching them. Are you concerned about that behavior around your daughter?”
Becca’s eyes filled with tears. “That was one incident. He was frustrated.”
“One incident? The social worker found multiple holes. Neighbors reported loud arguments with a baby crying in the background. How is that a safe environment?”
“I don’t know…” her voice was small.
“You’re prioritizing your relationship with Keith over your daughter’s relationship with her father, aren’t you?”
“No!”
“Then why did you refuse to consider living separately from Keith during settlement negotiations?”
“Because Keith is my partner!”
“So yes, you’re prioritizing him.”
Becca started crying. “I’m trying to do what’s best for Lily.”
Jeffrey’s voice was firm. “What’s best for Lily is having a stable home with her father. A home without holes in the walls and loud arguments. No more questions.”
Becca stepped down, looking shaken. The judge gathered her papers and stood. “We’ll take a 15-minute recess while I review the materials. Court rose.”
