I’ve been in love with my sister’s best friend for months.

The next few days were weird. Mia kept asking questions about me and Luke that I didn’t know how to answer.

She wanted to know if we’d kissed yet, if we were making things official, if we were going to tell people. Her excitement made the guilt worse because she was genuinely happy and supportive.

She kept saying how perfect we were together. She said she’d been worried about Luke being lonely and now he’d found someone who really got him.

She talked about double dates once she found someone to date. Every time she said something nice, I wanted to confess everything.

But confessing would hurt her and ruin things with Luke and make me look like a manipulative person, which I guess I was. Two weeks into dating Luke, things felt more normal.

We went to dinner and movies. He came over when Mia was home, and we all watched TV together like before, except now he sat next to me instead of her.

But I started noticing things. He still texted Mia good morning sometimes, just not every day.

When he came over, he’d bring her coffee along with mine, just less frequently. He’d still help her with stuff around the apartment without being asked.

I knew they were just friends. I knew this was normal, but it made me irrationally jealous anyway.

I’d watch them laugh at inside jokes from work and feel this ugly twist in my stomach. I hated that I was turning into the insecure girlfriend who couldn’t handle her boyfriend having female friends, especially when that female friend was my own sister.

Then Mia started dating someone. She came home from the gym one day talking about EA Chapman who’d asked her out.

Suddenly, Mia was going on dates three times a week and coming home giddy, texting constantly, talking about Isla like she’d discovered something amazing. I felt relieved that she was distracted and wouldn’t notice if things with Luke were weird.

But I also felt guilty that I was relieved. What kind of person was I that my first reaction to my sister’s happiness was relief that she wouldn’t be paying attention to my relationship drama?

Luke texted me on Thursday afternoon saying something came up and he had to cancel our dinner plans. I stared at my phone, sitting on the couch where we’d made out the night before.

I texted back asking what happened. He said Mia needed help moving furniture for a surprise she was planning for EA.

The words made my stomach twist. I typed and deleted three different responses before settling on asking if he could come over after.

He said it would probably be late and he didn’t want to wake me. I threw my phone on the couch cushion and went to my room.

An hour later, I heard Luke’s voice in the living room talking to Mia about where to put the bookshelf. I stayed in my room with the door closed, listening to them laugh while they rearranged furniture.

When I finally came out to get water, Luke smiled at me like everything was normal. I asked if he was staying for dinner since he was already here.

Mia jumped in saying they were ordering pizza and I should join them. I said I wasn’t hungry and went back to my room.

Luke texted me asking if I was okay. I didn’t respond.

He knocked on my door twenty minutes later. I opened it, and he stood there looking confused.

I asked why he canceled our plans to help Mia move furniture. He said she asked him this morning and it was important.

I pointed out that our dinner reservation was made three days ago. He got this defensive look and said Mia was his best friend and sometimes she needed help.

I asked if he was always going to drop everything for her. He stepped back like I’d slapped him.

He said that wasn’t fair and I knew how important their friendship was. I told him it felt like he was still prioritizing her over me.

He ran his hand through his hair and said he couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. He reminded me that Mia was there first and she’d always be in his life.

I said I wasn’t asking him to cut her out. He asked what I was asking then.

I didn’t have an answer that didn’t sound crazy. He left without kissing me goodbye.

I couldn’t sleep that night, replaying the fight in my head. The next morning, I texted Luke saying I was sorry and asking if we could talk.

He came over while Mia was at work. We sat on opposite ends of the couch where this whole thing started.

I apologized for making him feel like he had to choose. He nodded but didn’t say anything right away.

I admitted the fight showed me something ugly about myself. I told him I wanted him to pick me over Mia completely and that wasn’t realistic or fair.

He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. He said he needed me to trust that what he felt for Mia was about an idea he built up in his head.

He explained that the real friendship they had was different from the romantic fantasy he’d been chasing. I asked how I was supposed to know the difference.

He looked at me and said because he chose to be here right now instead of avoiding the hard conversation. He reached for my hand and squeezed it.

He said if he was still hung up on Mia, he would have used the fight as an excuse to run. I squeezed back and felt something loosen in my chest.

Katie McNeel from my job search network called me two days later about an interview at her company. She said they needed someone to start in three weeks and she immediately thought of me.

I spent the next week preparing, researching the company, practicing answers to interview questions. Luke and I barely saw each other except for quick texts.

He sent me good luck messages and offered to help me practice, but I was too stressed to make time. On Wednesday, he asked if I wanted to get dinner, and I said I needed to prep more.

Thursday he suggested coffee, and I said I was meeting with Katie to go over interview tips. By Friday, I realized we hadn’t seen each other in six days.

When we finally met up Saturday afternoon, something felt different. The distance had taken the pressure off.

We got coffee and walked around downtown without the weight of our fight hanging over us. He asked about the interview and actually listened instead of checking his phone.

I asked about his week, and he told me about a project at work that was driving him crazy. We laughed about stupid things like the guy at the coffee shop who couldn’t work the espresso machine.

It felt normal in a way it hadn’t before. The interview was Tuesday morning at 9:00.

I wore the blazer Mia let me borrow and showed up fifteen minutes early. Katie met me in the lobby and walked me through the office.

The interview lasted an hour, and I left feeling like I’d actually done well for once. Katie texted me that afternoon saying the hiring manager loved me.

Three days later, they offered me the job. I called Luke immediately, and he said we had to celebrate.

He picked me up Friday night and took me to this Italian place near his apartment. We ordered wine even though it was overpriced, and he made me tell him every detail of the interview.

Then he started talking about growing up in Oregon with his two brothers. He told me about the time they tried to build a treehouse and his youngest brother fell and broke his arm.

He told me about his mom teaching him to cook because his dad couldn’t boil water. I realized I was learning things about him that had nothing to do with Mia.

I wasn’t thinking about manipulation or guilt or whether I deserved to be there. I was just sitting across from him laughing at his stories and wanting to know more.

When he walked me to my door later, I kissed him and felt like I was falling for the real person, not the idea I’d built up in my head. Mia announced at breakfast two weeks later that Elo was moving in.

She was practically bouncing in her chair, talking about how they’d been dating four months and it felt right. Then she looked at me and said, “I’d need to find my own place in 2 months.”

My coffee mug stopped halfway to my mouth. She kept talking about how excited she was, but I couldn’t hear her over the panic in my head.

Living with Mia had been my safety net since graduation. I had a job now, but finding an apartment and living alone felt terrifying.

Mia noticed my face and asked if I was okay. I said I was happy for her and excused myself to my room.

Luke called an hour later because Mia had texted him worried about me. I told him I was freaking out about finding a place.