I’ve been in love with my sister’s best friend for months.

He suggested we look at apartments near each other so we could hang out without the pressure of moving in together. The idea made sense and calmed me down enough to start looking at listings online.

I spent the next week touring apartments after work. Most of them were too expensive or too far from my new job.

On Thursday, I walked into a building near Luke’s neighborhood and ran into someone in the lobby. He said my name, and I looked up to see Liam Bowers, Luke’s coworker.

He was holding his gym bag and asked what I was doing there. I explained I was apartment hunting.

He said he lived on the third floor and the building was great. We rode the elevator together, and he asked how Luke was doing.

I said he was good. Liam smiled and said, “Luke seemed way happier lately.”

Then he added that it was good to see because Luke used to talk about Mia constantly at work. My stomach dropped.

Liam kept talking about how Luke would come in every Monday with stories about hanging out with her over the weekend. He said everyone at the office knew Luke was in love with her.

The elevator doors opened and Liam said goodbye. I walked to the apartment viewing but couldn’t focus on anything.

The confirmation that Luke’s feelings for Mia were real and deep made me spiral. I kept wondering if I was just the available option now that she was seriously dating someone.

I showed up at Luke’s apartment that night without calling first. He opened the door in sweatpants looking surprised.

I asked if I could come in. He stepped aside, and I walked to his living room.

I turned around and asked if he was really over Mia or if I was just convenient. He froze with his hand still on the doorknob.

I told him about running into Liam and what he said. Luke closed the door and came to sit on the couch.

He was quiet for a long time. Then he admitted he probably needed to let go of Mia before he could see me clearly.

I felt tears starting and blinked them back. He reached for my hand and said that didn’t make what we had less real.

I pulled my hand away and asked how I was supposed to believe that. He said because he was being honest instead of lying to make me feel better.

He said he could pretend the past three years didn’t happen, but that wouldn’t change the truth. We sat there not talking for a while.

Finally, he said relationships were messy and rarely started in perfect ways. He asked if I thought my feelings for him were pure from the beginning.

I admitted they weren’t. He said we were both flawed people who did questionable things to get here.

He said the question wasn’t how we started but whether we wanted to keep going. I looked at him and asked if he did.

He said yes without hesitating. I said I did too.

We talked for three more hours about everything. About how he built Mia into someone she wasn’t.

About how I manipulated situations to get close to him. About how neither of us were perfect, but we were trying to be honest now.

When I left his apartment after midnight, I felt closer to him than I ever had. I found an apartment the next week.

It was fifteen minutes from Luke’s place and ten minutes from my new job. The landlord showed me around, and I signed the lease the same day.

Sitting in the rental office with the pen in my hand felt like the first adult decision I’d made that wasn’t about Luke or Mia. Dom Rollins from my new workplace offered to help me move when I mentioned it at lunch.

He was one of those genuinely nice people who didn’t know anything about my messy history. We spent the day carrying boxes, and he told me about his boyfriend and their three cats.

By the time everything was in my new place, I had a real friend who knew me as just me. Mia and I went to dinner alone the night before EA officially moved in.

We sat at our favorite Thai place and ordered too much food like always. She reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

She said she was proud of how I’d grown up this year. I felt my throat get tight.

She said she always knew I had a crush on Luke but didn’t realize how serious it was. She said she was glad we found each other even if the timing was weird.

I almost told her everything right then—about how I manipulated the situation, about how Luke was in love with her first. About how guilty I felt every single day, but telling her now would only hurt her and wouldn’t change anything that already happened.

Instead, I thanked her for being supportive. I told her I was working on being a better person.

It was the most honest thing I could say. She squeezed my hand across the table and said she loved me.

I squeezed back and said I loved her too. We paid the check and walked back to the apartment together.

She talked about EA’s quirks and how happy she felt. I listened and smiled and felt the words I almost said sitting heavy in my chest.

That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and thought about how some truths are more harmful than helpful. Luke texted asking how dinner went.

I told him it was good. He sent back a heart emoji and said he was proud of me.

I fell asleep feeling like I’d made the right choice, even if it didn’t feel completely honest. Six months passed.

Luke and I fell into a rhythm that felt surprisingly normal. We argued about whose turn it was to buy groceries.

We debated whether to watch his show or mine on Friday nights. We split dinner costs and took turns picking restaurants.

He left his socks on my bathroom floor, and I hogged the blankets when he stayed over. We had inside jokes and comfortable silences.

We knew each other’s coffee orders and work schedules. Some days I forgot how we started.

Other days the guilt hit me out of nowhere while we were doing something completely ordinary, like folding laundry or grocery shopping. I’d remember that I manipulated situations to make this happen.

That Luke spent three years wanting someone else. That Mia still didn’t know the full truth.

But then Luke would make a stupid joke or kiss my forehead or text me something funny from work. And I’d remember that what we had now was real, even if how we got here was messy.

I learned that relationships don’t need perfect beginnings to become something good, that people can grow and change and choose each other every day. That guilt and happiness can exist in the same space.