My Abusive Ex Threatened Every Man Who Looked At Me. Until I Started Dating MMA Fighter

Cameron defended. I love seeing this side of him, the soft side that only comes out around people he trusts.

My mom came in from Ohio too. She and Cameron’s mom hit it off immediately, planning and plotting like they’d known each other for years.

My mom pulled me aside yesterday morning.

“He’s good for you,”

she said.

“I can see it. You’re yourself again. My Madison. The girl who used to laugh at everything and trust everyone.”

“I’m better than I was,”

I said.

“Still working on it.”

“We’re all always working on it. That’s life.”

The rehearsal dinner is tomorrow, just close family and the wedding party. Cameron insisted on having it at the farmers market at the burrito stand where we had our first real conversation.

The vendor was thrilled.

“I remember you two,”

she said when we told her.

“Young love. The best kind.”

Tonight, though, is Cameron’s fight, his last fight before the wedding. He wanted to get it out of the way so he could focus on the wedding without worrying about training.

I’m getting ready now, pulling on his team shirt and my lucky jeans. Jessica is picking me up in 20 minutes.

Marcus and David will be there too, along with a bunch of people from the gym. Cameron left hours ago to warm up and prepare, but he texted me before he went into the locker room.

“See you soon. I love you. And after this, it’s just us and forever.”

Just us and forever. I like the sound of that.

Derek took four years of my life. He took my confidence, my freedom, and my ability to exist in public without fear.

But he doesn’t get to take anything else. He doesn’t get to take my future.

He doesn’t get to take my happiness. He doesn’t get to take my Cameron.

I took those back. We took those back and I’m never giving them up again.

The preliminary hearing is scheduled for two weeks after the wedding. All five of us are testifying: me, Amber, Rachel, and two other women I haven’t met yet.

Victoria says the case is strong and that Derek will likely take a plea deal to avoid trial.

“He’s done,”

she told me yesterday.

“Men like him only have power when their victims are isolated and scared. When you all stand together, he’s nothing.”

I believe her. Sometimes I think about what would have happened if my laptop hadn’t died that day.

What if I’d never walked into that repair shop? What if I’d never met Cameron?

I’d probably still be living in fear, still isolating myself, and still letting Derek control my life from a distance. But I did meet Cameron.

And he showed me that not all strong men use their strength to control. Some use it to protect.

Some use it to create space for others to be free. That’s the difference between Derek and Cameron.

Derek made my world smaller. Cameron made it bigger.

Derek made me afraid of my own shadow. Cameron taught me how to walk in the light again.

Derek punished anyone who looked at me. Cameron made sure I could look at anyone I wanted.

Next week I’m marrying the love of my life. I’m taking his last name: Chen.

Madison Chen. It sounds good.

It sounds like a fresh start, a new chapter. Jessica keeps joking that I should hire Cameron to stand at the wedding and glare at Derek in case he tries to show up uninvited.

But I don’t think that’ll be necessary. Derek’s moved on to fighting his own battles—legal battles, the kind you can’t punch your way out of.

And me? I’m just living my life.

I am going to work, planning a wedding, supporting my fighter fiancé, and smiling at strangers in Target. All the normal things that used to feel impossible.

But there’s one more thing I haven’t mentioned, something that happened last week that changed everything. I was at Dr. Chen’s office for my regular session.

We were talking about the wedding and about how excited I was when she asked me something that caught me off guard.

“What are you most afraid of?”

I thought about it, really thought about it.

“I’m afraid that I’ll wake up one day and realize this is all too good to be true. That Cameron will change. That I’ll end up back where I started.”

“Do you really believe that?”

she asked.

“No, but the fear is still there.”

“That’s normal,”

Dr. Chen said.

“Trust is built slowly. You’re relearning how to trust and that takes time.”

“But Madison, I want you to consider something. What if you’re not afraid it’s too good to be true? What if you’re afraid you deserve to be this happy?”

That hit me hard. She was right.

Part of me still believed I deserved what Derek did to me, that I’d somehow earned it.

“You didn’t deserve what happened to you,”

Dr. Chen said as if reading my mind.

“And you do deserve to be happy. Cameron knows that. Jessica knows that. Everyone in your life knows that. Now you just need to believe it yourself.”

I’m working on it. The fight tonight went well.

Cameron won by decision. It wasn’t his cleanest fight, but he won.

Afterward, we went out for burgers with the whole team.

“Next fight will be after the honeymoon,”

Cameron announced.

“I’m taking a month off. No training, no fighting. Just me and my wife.”

My wife. I’m going to be someone’s wife.

Cameron’s wife. We’re honeymooning in Minnesota.

Cameron wants to show me where he grew up, introduce me to old friends, and visit his dad’s grave. It feels important, like closing one chapter and starting another.

Tonight lying in bed, Cameron turned to me.

“I want you to know something. No matter what happens in the future, no matter what fights I win or lose, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You saved my life just as much as I saved yours.”

“How did I save your life?”

I asked.

“I was angry,”

he said quietly.

“For years after my dad died, I was so angry. Fighting helped, but it didn’t fix it.”

“I was just channeling the anger, not processing it. Then I met you and suddenly I had something to fight for that wasn’t just anger. I had love and that changed everything.”

We fell asleep holding hands. Tomorrow is the rehearsal, then the day after is the wedding, then the rest of our lives.

I’m not going to end this by saying I’m grateful for what Derek put me through. I’m not going to say it made me stronger or taught me valuable lessons.

That’s garbage. Abuse doesn’t make you stronger; it breaks you and you have to work really hard to put yourself back together.

What I will say is this: I’m grateful for Cameron. I am grateful for his size and his strength and his gentleness.

I am grateful for the way he faced down my worst nightmare and didn’t blink. I am grateful for the way he chose me every single day.

I am grateful for the way he gave me back my life. And I’m grateful for myself.

I am grateful for not giving up and for not running away to Ohio. I am grateful for taking that chance at the farmers market and for choosing to live instead of just survive.

Derek doesn’t get to be part of my story anymore. He’s a chapter that’s closed, done, over.

This is a new book now and it’s a good one. It is the kind where the heroine doesn’t need rescuing but appreciates when someone strong chooses to stand beside her anyway.

It is the kind where the scary-looking fighter is actually the gentlest person she’s ever met. It is the kind where love doesn’t control you, it frees you.

It is the kind where you can smile at a stranger in Target and nothing bad happens. It is the kind where you win.

And I did win. We won.

All of us who survived Derek. All of us who came forward.

All of us who refused to stay silent. The wedding is in six days.

I’ve got my dress and Cameron has his suit. The cake is ordered and the flowers are arranged.

Everything is ready. And for the first time in years, I’m not looking over my shoulder.

I’m not waiting for something bad to happen. I’m not preparing for disaster.

I’m just excited. Nervous and excited and so completely in love with this life I’m building with this man who saw me at my most broken and decided I was worth fighting for.

With this future that’s finally, finally mine.