My Bio Mom Tried To Sabotage My Trip To Japan By Giving Me The Wrong Airport Terminal. She Didn’t Realize My Stepdad And Brothers Would Choose Me Over Her. Aitah For Refusing To Forgive Her Until She Went To Therapy?

Healing Old Wounds

January brought cold weather and the return to school after winter break. One afternoon Linda found me in the kitchen getting a snack. She asked if I’d want to go to lunch with her sometime, just the two of us, to talk without Frank and the boys around.

I felt nervous immediately, wondering if this was some kind of trap or if she was going to tell me she wanted me to move out. But her face looked genuine and a little nervous too, so I said:

“Okay.”

We picked a Saturday and met at a casual restaurant near the mall. Sitting across from each other in a booth felt incredibly awkward at first. Linda ordered a salad and I got a sandwich, and we made small talk about the menu and the weather until our food arrived.

Then Linda put down her fork and said she needed to tell me something. She said therapy had helped her realize she’d been a terrible mother to me since she married Frank—not just bad or imperfect, but actually terrible in ways that could have seriously damaged me. She said she’d spent so much energy being jealous and threatened that she never stopped to think about what she was doing to her own daughter.

Her voice cracked when she said that last part. I didn’t know what to say, so I just listened while she kept talking. She said she understood now that her jealousy came from her own childhood issues and insecurities, and that taking those feelings out on me was cruel and wrong.

She said watching me connect with Frank and the boys so easily made her feel like she was failing at both being a mother and being a wife. Linda’s voice got quiet when she explained that if her own daughter fit in better than she could, what did that say about her as a person. I put down my sandwich and told her that’s not how family works, that there’s enough room for everyone and nobody was competing.

I said I understood her insecurity made her see things differently, made her think love was some limited thing that ran out if too many people got some. Linda nodded and wiped her eyes with her napkin, then said she was starting to see that now through therapy. We finished eating and split the check, and when we walked out to our cars, Linda said she hoped we could do this again sometime.

I said okay, and we both got in our cars and drove home separately. We didn’t become best friends over lunch, but we did reach an understanding that we were both part of this family and Linda’s jealousy wasn’t going to control our relationship anymore. Linda told me she was going to keep working on her issues in therapy and she hoped that eventually we could have a real mother-daughter relationship instead of this strained dynamic we’d been stuck in.

I said I hoped for that too, and I meant it, even though I wasn’t sure it would actually happen.

February brought Tom’s 17th birthday, and he asked for a family trip to an amusement park about 2 hours away. Linda agreed without trying to exclude me or making excuses why I couldn’t go, which felt like progress. We all piled into Frank’s SUV early on a Saturday morning and drove to the park with Tom picking the music.

At the park, Linda even rode some roller coasters with all of us instead of sitting out and watching like she used to do. She screamed on the drops and laughed when we teased her about closing her eyes during the loops. Bobby dragged us to the biggest coaster in the park, and Linda actually got in line with us instead of offering to hold bags.

The ride was intense, and when we got off, Linda’s hair was a mess and she was breathing hard but smiling. Tom high-fived her and said he didn’t know she had it in her, and Linda smiled wider and said she was full of surprises. At the amusement park, a photo booth caught Bobby’s attention near the food court, and he insisted we all squeeze in for pictures.

Linda didn’t hesitate or try to arrange the photos without me like she might have done months ago. We crammed into the tiny booth with Frank and Linda in the back and me squished between Tom and Bobby in front. The camera counted down and we made faces, then switched to silly poses, then tried to look serious but Bobby ruined it by crossing his eyes.

We looked at the strips of pictures when they printed out, and we actually looked like a real family having fun together. Linda studied the photos for a long moment then said she wanted copies for her wallet. Bobby got extra strips printed so we could each keep one, and Linda tucked hers carefully into her purse.

We spent the rest of the day riding more rides and eating overpriced theme park food, and Linda stayed engaged and present instead of checking out or looking annoyed. When we drove home that evening, everyone was tired and happy, and Linda fell asleep in the passenger seat with her head against the window.

March brought my 18th birthday, and Frank threw me a party with my friends and our family at the house. Linda helped set up decorations in the living room and backyard, hanging streamers and blowing up balloons without complaining. She actually seemed happy to be celebrating me, asking what kind of cake I wanted and making sure we had enough food for everyone.

My friends started arriving around 6:00, and Linda greeted them at the door and made them feel welcome. Frank grilled burgers and hot dogs in the backyard while Tom and Bobby set up the outdoor speakers for music. After we ate cake, Linda asked everyone to gather in the living room because she wanted to say something.

She stood up in front of everyone and gave a short speech about how she was grateful I was part of the family and how proud she was of the person I’d become. Her voice cracked a little when she talked about how much I meant to Frank and the boys and how she was learning to appreciate that instead of resenting it. Several of my friends started crying, and one of them hugged Linda and said that was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard.

Linda hugged her back and then came over to hug me, and it felt genuine instead of forced like her hugs used to feel. After my birthday, Linda found me in my room a few days later and asked if she could talk to me privately. She sat on the edge of my bed and told me that seeing how much Frank and the boys love me had taught her that love isn’t a limited resource that gets used up.

Linda said she was learning that their love for me doesn’t mean less love for her and that her jealousy was based on a scarcity mindset that therapy was helping her change. She said her therapist had been working with her on understanding that families can grow bigger without anyone getting less, that adding people doesn’t divide love but multiplies it. I told her I was glad she was learning that and that I never wanted to take anything away from her.

Linda said she knew that now, that she could see I’d never been trying to replace her or steal her family. She said she was sorry it took her so long to figure that out and that she’d wasted so much time being jealous when she could have been building a relationship with me instead.