My Daughter Earns $215k But I Pay For Her Teslas And Mortgage. When I Cut Her Off To Save Myself From Bankruptcy, She Sued Me For “elder Exploitation.” Am I The Jerk For Choosing My Dream Trip Over Her Luxury Lifestyle?
The Reclaiming of Self
The next morning I called Margaret.
“I need an appointment with an estate attorney today, if possible.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking it’s time to protect myself.”
Mr. Raymond Chen, the attorney Margaret recommended, was thorough and compassionate. He listened to my whole story without judgment.
“Mrs. Morrison, what you’re describing is actually more common than you think. It’s a form of financial exploitation, even when it’s family. Especially when it’s family.”
“I don’t want to cut Jessica out of my life entirely. I just want to stop enabling her.”
“Understood,” Said Mr. Chen. “Here’s what I recommend. First, we cancel all automatic payments immediately.”
“Second, we restructure your estate planning. Instead of leaving everything to Jessica, we can set up educational trust funds for your grandchildren that Jessica can’t access. We can also designate charitable beneficiaries.”
“Finally, we can set up legal protections to ensure Jessica can’t challenge your competency or try to gain power of attorney.”
“She wouldn’t do that,” I said.
Mr. Chen looked at me kindly.
“Mrs. Morrison, when money is involved, people often surprise us. Better to have protections you don’t need than need protections you don’t have.”
Two hours later, I walked out of his office with a clear plan. That afternoon, I spent four hours on the phone with my bank, canceling payment after payment after payment. Ninety-two phone calls; each one felt like reclaiming a piece of myself.
The last call was to my mortgage payment to Jessica’s house. The bank representative asked,
“Ma’am, are you sure? This will leave the account in default.”
“I’m sure.”
“Okay, the automatic payment has been cancelled. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
“Actually, yes. I’d like to book a wire transfer to European Dream Tours: $15,000.”
I bought the trip: three months through Italy, France, and Switzerland. The departure date was six weeks away.
Then I sent Jessica an email—professional, clear, kind, but firm. Dear Jessica, as of today, I have cancelled all automatic payments from my accounts to yours. This includes the mortgage, car payments, school tuition, and all other expenses I have been covering.
I love you and I love Olivia and Mason, but I can no longer financially support your lifestyle. You and Brad both have good jobs and the ability to support yourselves. This change is necessary for my financial security and my future.
I’ve made arrangements to ensure Olivia and Mason’s college education will be funded through a trust that will be available when they turn 18. Beyond that, I wish you the best in managing your own finances. I hope you can understand that this decision comes from a place of self-preservation, not lack of love. Mom.
I hit send before I could second-guess myself. The calls started within three hours. First Jessica, then Brad, then Jessica again, then both of them together.
I let every single call go to voicemail.
