My Daughter Hated Me For 11 Years To Protect Her Father’s Image. Then His Secret Family Was Revealed Right Before Her Wedding. How Do We Move Forward?
The Final Choice
Two weeks before the wedding, Ray sends Mia a long email. She forwards it to me and asks what I think.
The email is six paragraphs of apologies mixed with justifications. He says he is sorry for lying but he did it because he loved her and wanted her to think well of him. He says being a good father was important to him even if he failed at actually doing it. He says he understands if she needs space but he hopes she will let him attend the wedding even if he cannot walk her down the aisle.
He says he wants to see her happy on her special day. He says he will sit in the back and leave right after the ceremony if that is what she wants. He says he just needs to be there.
Mia calls me after I read it and asks what I think she should do. I tell her it is her wedding and her choice. I tell her I will support whatever she decides.
She is quiet for a long time then says no. She says she needs her wedding to be about people who show up consistently, not people who make grand gestures and empty promises. She says she wants to start her marriage surrounded by real love, not performances. She says having Ray there would mean spending the whole day managing his feelings and wondering if he will actually stay or leave early like he always does.
She says she deserves better than that. I tell her I am proud of her for choosing what she needs instead of what Ray wants. She says it feels terrible and right at the same time.
Wedding day arrives and I wake up more nervous than I have been in years. I keep checking my phone expecting some crisis or emergency. Mia calls at 8:00 in the morning and asks if I am awake. She sounds excited and scared.
She asks if I am still okay with walking her down the aisle because she will understand if it feels like too much pressure. I tell her I am honored and I would not miss it. She laughs and says she cannot believe this is actually happening.
Oliver texts me later that morning saying Mia is crying happy tears because everything is coming together. When I arrive at the venue, Mia is in her dress and she looks so beautiful I start crying immediately. She sees me and starts crying too and her makeup artist yells at us both.
Mia hugs me carefully so she does not wrinkle her dress. She whispers that she is glad I am the one walking her down the aisle because I am the one who earned it through years of showing up even when she made it miserable.
The ceremony starts and I stand with Mia behind the closed doors. She is shaking and I am shaking and we hold hands like we are both about to jump off a cliff. The doors open and music plays and we start walking.
Everyone stands and turns to look. I see Oliver at the front and he is crying already. I see his family smiling at us. I see Mia’s friends from college. I see my co-workers who came to support us.
The officiant welcomes everyone and talks about love and commitment. Then she asks who gives this woman to be married. My voice shakes when I say I do, but I get the words out. Mia hugs me tight and whispers, “Thank you for everything.”
I sit in the front row and cry through the entire ceremony. I watch Mia and Oliver exchange vows and rings. I watch them kiss while everyone cheers. I watch my daughter marry a good man who loves her and I feel grateful we made it here.
