My Girlfriend Dumped Me Right Before I Proposed Because Her Coworkers Told Her To. Then I Collapsed And Found Out I Have A Brain Tumor. Is She Back For Me Or Just Out Of Guilt?

Confronting Kate

Update: My longtime girlfriend just broke up with me because of her coworkers. They thought I’m not good enough and out of her league.

On Friday, I cleared all my voicemail and texts. I ended up with 61 missed calls (four from the police), 14 voicemails, and 417 text messages. I sent a generalized message to those who reached out stating that I was okay and safe, as well as needed time and space while I worked out some personal issues.

I picked up the ring since it was already paid for, then put it in the box I made for it. I did go to her parents’ house. As soon as I pulled up, Kate opened the door and ran out. She had been crying. She went to give me a hug. I accepted, but it wasn’t how I usually hug. She then tried to kiss me. I moved my head and backed up.

We went in and sat down. We sat for about 10 minutes not saying anything. She started crying and said she was sorry.

I just responded with, “Okay.”

I asked her what she told everyone.

She said, “The truth.”

I asked her why the cops were called to check on me. She explained that she didn’t call them. After our friends found out and tried reaching out, none of them had heard from me in over 24 hours, so they decided to call in the wellness check. Kate used the word “catatonic” to describe me after I walked away.

The Hard Questions

I took a bunch of the questions you guys posted. I asked her, “Why did you break up with me?”

She didn’t give me a straight answer. Something about people at work constantly talking bad about me and playing on her insecurities.

I asked her, “Why did you keep letting that happen and not put a stop to it by setting clear boundaries?”

She said that she tried, and it worked for a day, but would go back the next.

I asked, “Do you see value in me as a person or in our relationship?”

She said that she does in both.

I asked, “Why would you break up over something a random stranger said about me?”

She said she was sorry and it was a dumb mistake.

Paraphrasing, I asked how did they know about me or our relationship, and how much did they talk about me. The ladies at the salon overheard Kate talking to some of our friends or customers while she was working—about me, things we did like dates, birthday parties, etc.

“Did you believe your coworkers were right?”

She said, “No.”

I then followed up with, “Why?”

She said again that she did not know.

I asked her if there was someone else. She immediately said no, she has never cheated or been tempted to. She offered me her phone, which I declined.

The Final Decision

I told her how I felt.

“Sorry isn’t enough. If you want this relationship, you need to prove it to me. I didn’t care that your coworkers kept talking about us; it’s that you listened. It isn’t what they said that hurts, it’s the fact that you kept listening to it and repeated it back to me.”

“You didn’t try hard enough to stop them. It makes me feel like you had to feel the same way to an extent. That is what hurt and damaged the relationship. Your insecurities are what broke my trust. I will now always think that this might happen again, that you will run off at the next opportunity.”

She asked why I just walked away. I told her that at that moment, just two sentences broke me and made me rethink my life up to that point and the future I was planning with us together. I was growing and making moves for that future. She started crying harder. I felt bad.

The next thing I did, I regret. I asked her if she knew I was going to propose soon.

She said, “No.”

I pulled out the box and showed it to her. I had made the box as well. It has two buttons: one that says “Yes” and one that says “No.” It has lights that say “Will you be my life partner?”

I set it on the table and pressed “Yes.” The box opened, and she started to cry even harder. The ring has both of our birthstones that form the shape of a completed heart with small diamonds surrounding it, with laser-engraved initials and the date of our anniversary. I had it made so that it could be added onto if and when we had kids.

Her parents were there but were more there to make sure things stayed civil. Her mom was crying, and her dad looked pissed, but not at me. They both made comments about the ring box.

I told her that the future I had planned was not going to happen anymore. I told her we needed to give each other space—at least three months of no communication. We need to take a step back and look at who we are and what we want moving forward. After that, we will see where we are at, but this is on my terms and timeline.