My Husband Abandoned Me On My Birthday To Spend The Entire Day With His Ex-wife.

Jerome said he needed to establish boundaries. Natalie cried and said Jerome was choosing me over their friendship.

She actually said that like she didn’t see the irony. Luciano said Natalie left crying and Jerome looked shaken but didn’t back down.

I thanked Luciano for telling me and sat with that information. Jerome was finally setting boundaries with Natalie.

He was finally seeing her manipulation clearly enough to stop it. I agreed to meet Jerome for coffee on Wednesday.

We met at a place near Sabina’s apartment. Jerome looked tired with dark circles under his eyes.

He ordered my coffee without asking because he’d finally remembered my order. We sat at a corner table and Jerome pulled out his phone.

He showed me his blocked contacts list with Natalie’s number. He showed me a text he sent telling her not to contact him anymore.

He said he’d started individual therapy to understand why he let Natalie manipulate him. He said the therapist was helping him see how his mother’s treatment of me was cruel and how he enabled it by staying silent.

Jerome seemed genuinely committed to change but I told him that even if his intentions were good I didn’t know if I could trust him again after years of feeling secondary in my own marriage. Jerome’s eyes filled with tears.

He said he understood and he’d do whatever it took to earn my trust back even if that took years. I finished my coffee and told him I needed more time.

Jerome nodded and said he’d wait as long as I needed. I met Nathan for lunch the next day at the restaurant where we’d had our first date years ago.

He’d suggested the place and I thought it was sweet until I sat across from him and noticed how pleased he looked with himself. Nathan ordered for both of us without asking what I wanted and started talking about apartments he’d found for me to look at.

I told him I needed to slow down and think about what I actually wanted instead of just running from Jerome to him. Nathan’s smile faded and he set down his fork.

He asked what there was to think about when Jerome had spent 5 years treating me like garbage. I said Jerome was finally making real changes and blocking Natalie and going to therapy.

Nathan’s face went hard in a way I’d never seen before. He said I was making a huge mistake if I gave Jerome another chance because people like Jerome never actually changed.

He said Jerome would be great for a few months then fall right back into his old patterns the first time Natalie called crying. I told Nathan I appreciated his support but I needed to figure out my marriage without pressure from anyone.

Nathan laughed but it wasn’t a nice sound. He said he’d wasted three months being there for me and listening to me complain about Jerome just so I could run back to him anyway.

I stared at Nathan and realized he’d never actually cared about what I wanted. He’d been waiting for me to leave Jerome and choose him instead, treating our whole reconnection like some kind of competition he was winning.

I told Nathan we needed to stop seeing each other while I worked on my marriage. Nathan called me stupid for trusting Jerome again and said I was using him for attention when I was lonely.

He stood up and threw money on the table and walked out while other diners stared. I sat there feeling shaken because the man who’d seemed so understanding and supportive had turned mean the second I didn’t do what he wanted.

The Long Road to Resolution

Three months after Linda’s funeral Jerome and I walked into our first marriage counseling session together. The therapist was a woman in her 50s who told us to call her by her first name and said she didn’t do easy sessions where everyone felt good.

She asked us each to explain why we were there. Jerome talked about wanting to save our marriage and how he’d finally seen his mistakes with Natalie.

I talked about 5 years of feeling invisible while Jerome prioritized his ex-wife over me. The therapist listened to both of us then said we’d both made choices that damaged our marriage and we needed to own them.

She looked at Jerome and said his pattern with Natalie was emotional abandonment even if he never cheated physically. She asked him why he thought his ex-wife’s needs were more important than his actual wife’s needs.

Jerome said he’d felt responsible for Natalie after the divorce because she didn’t have family nearby. The therapist asked if he realized he’d been acting like Natalie’s husband instead of mine.

Jerome’s face went red and he admitted he’d never thought about it that way. Then the therapist turned to me and said, “Bringing Nathan to Linda’s funeral was calculated public humiliation designed for revenge not resolution.”

She said I’d wanted to hurt Jerome as badly as he’d hurt me instead of actually trying to fix our problems. I tried to defend myself but the therapist cut me off and said we were both here to be honest about our choices.

She asked if we actually wanted to rebuild our marriage or if too much damage had been done. Jerome said he wanted to try.

I said I didn’t know yet but I was willing to see if therapy could help. The therapist gave us homework about identifying our needs and boundaries.

We left that first session both feeling raw and exposed but also like someone had finally made us face the truth about what we’d done to each other. Nenah called me 2 weeks into our counseling sessions.

She said Natalie had contacted her asking Nenah to tell Jerome that Natalie was having a crisis and needed him. Nenah said she’d told Natalie that Jerome was working on his marriage and Natalie needed to respect his boundaries and find other people to lean on.

Natalie had cried and said Jerome was abandoning her when she needed him most. Nenah had stayed firm and said Natalie’s friendship with Jerome had been inappropriate for years and it needed to end.

Nenah told me she felt proud of Jerome for finally standing up to Natalie’s manipulation after watching it happen since his divorce. She also apologized for staying silent all those years while Linda favored Natalie over me at family dinners.

Nenah said she’d been conflict avoidant and hadn’t wanted to upset their mother but she should have defended me. She said Linda had actively encouraged Jerome to stay close to Natalie and had told Jerome multiple times that Natalie was the one who got away.

Nenah admitted the whole family had enabled Jerome’s behavior by treating Natalie like she was still part of the family while making me feel like an outsider. I thanked Nenah for finally saying something and for blocking Natalie’s attempts to contact Jerome.

Nenah said the family dynamics were shifting now that Linda was gone and people were acknowledging how unhealthy some of her opinions had been. She said Jerome’s brother was also starting to see how Jerome had neglected me for years.

6 months after Linda’s funeral Jerome and I moved back in together after living separately while doing intensive therapy. We weren’t fixed and probably never would be completely fixed but we were more honest now.

Jerome hadn’t had any contact with Natalie since that day at his workplace when he’d set boundaries. He actively worked to prioritize our marriage in ways he’d never done before like actually keeping plans we made and asking about my day and remembering details about my life.

I still carried anger about the years I’d felt invisible and the therapist said that was normal and we’d worked through it over time instead of expecting it to disappear overnight. Our relationship felt different now because it was built on Jerome finally seeing me as his priority and me learning to say what I needed before resentment built up to the breaking point.

We started planning a small vow renewal ceremony for just the two of us. There would be no family and no big event, just a private commitment that felt more real than our original wedding where Linda had seated Natalie in the front row and spent the reception talking about how beautiful Natalie looked.

Jerome suggested we write our own vows this time and actually mean them. I agreed because I wanted promises based on who we actually were now instead of who we’d pretended to be seven years ago.