My Husband Told Me His “Work Wife” Was An Upgrade. Then I Found Out He Was Paying Her Rent While Telling Me To Budget. How Should I Handle This Dinner Invite?
Fighting for Fair
Ambrosia didn’t even look surprised. She pulled out a folder and started listing all the ways I’d supported Craig’s career. How I’d worked full-time as a teacher while managing our household. How I’d attended his company events and hosted his co-workers for dinner. How I’d supported him through two job changes and a period of unemployment 3 years ago. How I’d delayed my own career advancement to accommodate his schedule.
Craig’s lawyer tried to argue but Ambrosia had documentation for everything. Pay stubs showing I’d contributed to our household income consistently. Emails from Craig thanking me for handling things at home so he could focus on work. Photos from company events where I’d played the supportive wife. Craig slumped in his chair and stopped arguing.
The mediator moved on to the house. Craig suddenly got animated again and said he wanted to keep it. He’d buy out my share and I could take the cash.
I said no immediately. The mediator asked why and I explained I didn’t trust Craig to actually pay me after everything that happened. I needed a clean break with no ongoing financial ties.
Craig’s face turned red and he said I was being unreasonable. His lawyer suggested putting the buyout terms in writing with penalties if Craig defaulted. I still said no. I wanted the house sold and the money split down the middle.
Craig started arguing that the house was his home and I was trying to take it from him out of spite. Ambrosia cut in and said the house was marital property and I had every right to request a sale. The mediator suggested we table the house discussion and move to other assets.
Craig and his lawyer had a whispered conversation. The tension in the room made my shoulders tight. I realized this was going to take multiple sessions. We weren’t going to resolve everything today.
After the Session
The first mediation session ended after 2 hours with almost nothing decided. I walked to my car in the parking garage and sat in the driver’s seat with the door closed. Then I started crying. Not the angry crying from before, but exhausted, frustrated crying.
This was so much harder than I’d expected. The strategic confrontation dinner had felt powerful and controlled. This mediation process was messy and slow and expensive. Every hour with Ambrosia cost money I didn’t really have. Every session meant taking time off work and sitting across from Craig while we picked apart 8 years of our lives.
I wanted it to be over but we’d barely started. My phone buzzed with a text from Laya asking how it went. I didn’t have the energy to respond. I drove back to her apartment and went straight to the guest room.
I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about how naive I’d been. I thought once I confronted Craig and filed for divorce the hard part would be over, but the hard part was just beginning. All the legal processes and paperwork and negotiations stretched out ahead of me like an endless road.
Laya knocked on the guest room door around 6:00 and said she was taking me out for dinner. I said I wasn’t hungry but she ignored me and told me to get dressed. We went to a small restaurant near her apartment that served comfort food. Laya ordered for both of us and then made me talk through the mediation session.
I told her about Craig fighting over the retirement accounts in the house. How he’d looked terrible but still found the energy to argue about money. How the mediator had suggested tabling discussions because we couldn’t agree on anything.
