My Husband “Volunteered” Me To Be Free Daycare For His Entire Family Behind My Back. He Told Them I Was “Hormonal” When I Said No. Aita For Packing My Bags And Leaving Him With 6 Kids While He Went Golfing?

The Unwanted Promotion

My husband told his whole family to dump all the kids on me and made me the family daycare. He never expected what I did after.

I found out about the arrangement at my sister-in-law’s birthday party. Derrick was in the backyard with his brothers and their wives, and I was inside doing dishes, when Linda pulled me aside with her toddler on her hip.

She said, “So Derrick mentioned you’re fine watching Lucas next weekend while we go to that conference.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. I told her Derrick had never mentioned anything to me about watching her son. Linda looked confused and then called Derrick inside. He came in wiping his hands on a towel and smiled like this was no big deal.

He said, “Yeah, I told everyone at the family gathering last month that since you’re home anyway, you could help out when people need child care. It saves everyone money and you’re family.”

I stared at him. I had never agreed to be the family daycare. I had never said I was available to watch other people’s children. I’d never even been asked. Derrick explained that it was just helping out, that family helps each other, and that I should be happy to be needed. Linda nodded supportively.

He said, “You were really good with kids and that you wouldn’t mind.”

I asked Derrick if we could talk in the other room. Once we were alone, I told him he couldn’t make decisions about my time without asking me first.

He said, “You are being selfish. Family is important. Watching a few kids for a few hours isn’t a big deal.”

I told him it was a very big deal to me and he needed to call everyone back and tell them the arrangement was off. He said he’d think about it.

The Floodgates Open

The first drop-off was the following Saturday. Derrick’s brother showed up at 8 in the morning with his two kids, ages three and five, without warning.

He said, “Derrick told me to bring them early.”

I hadn’t even had coffee yet. When I told him I couldn’t take them, Derrick appeared and asked why I was making this difficult. His brother left the two kids in our living room and drove away.

That was the beginning. Over the next three weeks, Derrick’s entire extended family seemed to believe I’d become free child care. His cousin dropped off her infant twice without a car seat, just handing me the baby and leaving.

His other sister came by with three kids and said she’d be back in six hours. One of them got sick in our bathroom. Another one broke a lamp. My own child stopped getting my attention because I was managing five other children on a Tuesday afternoon while Derrick was at work.

I finally told Derrick I was done. I said he needed to tell his family immediately that this wasn’t happening anymore.

He said, “You are being dramatic. People depend on you now. Real wives help their husband’s families.”

He said I was selfish for not wanting to be part of the family support system. He said his mother had watched his siblings’ kids all the time and nobody ever complained.

I said, “His mother chose to do that. You made this choice for me without my permission. That’s different.”

But he’d already decided my objection wasn’t valid. He told his family I was just tired and would be fine once I adjusted.