My Husband “Volunteered” Me To Be Free Daycare For His Entire Family Behind My Back. He Told Them I Was “Hormonal” When I Said No. Aita For Packing My Bags And Leaving Him With 6 Kids While He Went Golfing?

The Golf Course Incident

The next Saturday, five kids showed up at our door. Five. His brother, his cousin, and his sister all dropped kids off between 8:00 and 9:00 in the morning. All with vague pickup times, and all expecting me to manage them while Derrick went to play golf.

I called him while he was on the course. I told him to come home immediately.

He said, “It is too late to cancel and you are a stay-at-home mom, so this is literally what you do all day.”

I told him I did child care for one child, not six. I told him if he didn’t come home, I was leaving. He laughed and said I wouldn’t actually do that.

I packed a bag, loaded my own child into the car, and drove to my mother’s house. I left all five of his relatives’ children in our living room unsupervised. His family started calling within 20 minutes.

Derrick called from the golf course frantically asking where I was. I didn’t answer until he got home and realized the kids were still there waiting to be picked up by the people who dropped them off.

I told him I was at my mother’s house and I was staying until he called every single member of his family and told them the child care arrangement was permanently finished. It took three days before he finally called his family back.

Caught in a Lie

I thought it would stop, but what they did made me lose it. I got back home on a Thursday afternoon. Derrick had spent three days calling his family, or so he said, telling them the child care arrangement was permanently over.

He seemed relieved when I agreed to come home, like everything was fixed now. I unpacked my bag and tried to settle back into normal life. My daughter was happy to be in her own room again. Derrick made dinner that night and we ate mostly in silence. He kept saying things would be different now that his family understood. I wanted to believe him.

Two days later, on Saturday morning, my phone buzzed with a text. It was from Ila.

The message said, “Hey, so when are you going to be back to normal? I need to drop off the kids next Saturday for a few hours.”

I stared at the screen. Back to normal? Like the past month had just been me having some kind of breakdown? Like Derrick had actually told her anything real? I felt my stomach drop.

Another text came through while I was still processing the first one. This one was from Derrick’s cousin asking if I could watch her baby on Tuesday afternoon since Derrick mentioned I was feeling better now. Feeling better?

I opened my text history and started taking screenshots. Ila’s message asking when I’d be back to normal. The cousin asking about Tuesday. Then I scrolled further and found more. Derrick’s other sister had texted three days ago asking if the situation was resolved yet because she needed coverage for next month. His brother had sent a message yesterday saying he appreciated my flexibility and family came first.

Every single message made it clear that Derrick had not told them the arrangement was over. He told them I was being dramatic. He told them I needed time to calm down. He told them I would come around once I stopped overreacting. I saved every screenshot to a folder. My hands were shaking.

I walked into the living room where Derrick was watching television. I held up my phone and showed him Ila’s text. He glanced at it and shrugged.

He said, “She probably just didn’t understand what I meant.”

I showed him the next screenshot, and the next, and the next. Derrick’s face changed as I kept showing him message after message. He finally held up his hand and told me to stop. I asked him what exactly he told his family when he called them.

Derrick rubbed his face and admitted he told them a softer version of events. He said he didn’t want them thinking badly of him. He said he explained that I was stressed and needed some space but that things would probably work out once I had time to adjust.

I felt something break inside me. I told him he lied to me. He promised he would tell them the arrangement was over and instead he told them I was being dramatic and would get over it.

Derrick got defensive. He said I was making him look like a bad son and a bad brother by refusing to help family. He said his whole family thought he married someone selfish and he was trying to manage their expectations while also keeping me happy.

Keeping me happy? Like my clearly stated boundary about not being volunteered for child care without my consent was just some mood he needed to manage?