My Husband’s Girl Best Friend Told Me He’s Only With Me Because She Was Married

The Stalker in the Shadows

Turns out Lily didn’t choose Bradley over Jar all those years ago. The truth was Jar had never proposed to Lily.

They’d dated for maybe six months in college, nothing serious. Jamar broke up with her when he met someone else.

Lily had been obsessed with Jar and showed up at his apartment crying multiple times. She threatened to hurt herself if he didn’t take her back.

Campus security got involved. After graduation, Jar moved cities partly to get away from her.

Bradley divorced Lily because she’d been stalking Jar online for years. She had a folder of photos of Jar and me from social media.

She had been planning to break up our marriage since she found out we were engaged.

“She’s sick,” Bradley said.

“I tried to get her help but she refused.” “Be careful.”

I sat in my car after Bradley’s call ended, my hands gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. Everything Lily said at the anniversary party was a lie.

But the truth Bradley just told me was somehow worse. It meant Jar had been either blind or complicit for years.

I couldn’t go home yet. I couldn’t face Jar with this information burning in my chest, knowing he’d kept a stalker in our lives for seven years.

I started the car and drove to my sister Natalie’s house across town. My mind replayed Bradley’s words about the folder of photos, the journal, and the threats.

Natalie opened the door before I even knocked. She took one look at my face and pulled me inside.

I told her everything Bradley said about Lily’s stalking, the threats to hurt herself, and the obsession that drove him to divorce her. I told her the fact that campus security got involved back in college.

Natalie’s face went from concerned to angry as I talked. She called for her husband Dylan to come downstairs.

Dylan worked in private investigation. He sat down with us at the kitchen table while I repeated the whole story.

He listened carefully, taking notes and asking specific questions about dates and incidents. He explained how stalkers operate and how they build elaborate fantasies and can’t separate those fantasies from reality.

He said the fact that Lily had kept this up for eight years meant she was deeply committed to her delusion. He said she wouldn’t stop without serious intervention or legal consequences.

Dylan pulled out his laptop and helped me create a detailed timeline of every interaction between Jar and Lily over our seven years of marriage. We started with when we got engaged and Lily suddenly reappeared in Jar’s life after years of no contact.

Looking at it all written out, I saw patterns I’d dismissed as friendship but now recognized as Lily systematically maintaining access to my husband.

The Sunday dinners that became weekly, the texts that came at specific times every day, the way she always wore Jar’s old clothes when she visited. The photos she posted on social media that always included Jar or our house.

Dylan pointed out how she’d inserted herself into every major event in our marriage. She was always positioning herself as the most important person in Jar’s life besides me.

By the time we finished, it was almost midnight. I finally drove home and found Jamar waiting up in the living room, his phone in his hand.

He looked worried and asked where I’d been because I hadn’t answered his texts. I sat down across from him and said I’d spoken with Bradley.

I asked him directly if he knew Lily had stalked him in college. His face went pale in a way that told me he knew something.

Jamar was quiet for a long moment before admitting that Lily went through a rough patch after he broke up with her in college. He said she showed up at his apartment a few times.

He claimed he thought she’d gotten help and moved on. When I pointed out she’d been in our lives constantly for seven years, he got defensive.

He said I was overreacting and that Bradley was probably lying because he was bitter about the divorce. He said Lily was just a good friend who cared about him.

I pulled out the timeline Dylan helped me create and spread it across the coffee table. I pointed out every time Lily showed up unannounced and every time she wore his old college clothes.

I pointed out every time she positioned herself physically between us on the couch or at parties. Jamar stared at the paper for a long time, his finger tracing the dates and incidents.

Finally, he said he needed to think about this. This wasn’t the immediate horror and protection I needed from him.

I wanted him to be angry, to call Lily right then and tell her to stay away, to apologize for letting this happen. Instead, he just sat there looking at the timeline like it was a puzzle he couldn’t solve.

I went to bed alone while he stayed on the couch. The next morning I called Bradley back before Jar woke up.

I asked if he still had any of the evidence from Lily’s stalking that led to their divorce. Bradley said he kept everything because his lawyer told him to.

He was willing to share it with me if it would help protect me and Jar from her. He said he’d email it over within the hour.

I sat at my laptop refreshing my inbox until Bradley’s email came through. The folder contained screenshots of Lily’s social media obsession with Jar going back years before Bradley even knew about it.

There were photos she’d collected of him from mutual friends’ accounts, saved and organized by date. There was a journal she’d kept documenting Jar’s daily routines.

What time he left for work, what coffee shop he went to, what gym he used. Reading her entries made my skin crawl because she wrote about him like they were in a relationship even while she was married to Bradley.

She described imaginary conversations they’d have and plans for their future together. She wrote how she was just waiting for the right time to make Jar see they belong together.

Choosing Sides

That evening I showed the evidence to Jamar. I watched his face carefully as he read through Lily’s journal entries about him.

He looked sick, his hand shaking slightly as he scrolled through page after page of her obsessive documentation. But then he tried to minimize it.

He said she was probably just venting harmlessly in a private journal. He said lots of people write things they don’t mean.

I stared at him in disbelief. I asked if he seriously thought a married woman keeping a journal about his daily schedule and writing about their imaginary future together was harmless venting.

I closed the laptop and looked at Jar sitting there on the couch. I told him he needed to cut off all contact with Lily right now, immediately, with no more texts or calls or visits.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He shifted in his seat.

He said he couldn’t just ghost someone who’d been his friend for so long. He said it would be cruel to cut her off without explanation when she was going through a hard time with the divorce.

I felt my stomach drop listening to him defend her even after reading her journal entries about tracking his daily schedule. I asked him if he understood that his friend was actually a stalker who’d been planning to break up our marriage for years.

He got defensive and said I was overreacting. He said Bradley probably exaggerated everything because he was bitter and that Lily just needed better boundaries, not total abandonment.

I stood up and told him his priority right now should be protecting his wife, not worrying about hurting his stalker’s feelings. He said I was being controlling and jealous, just like he’d worried about.

That’s when I really lost it. I pointed at the laptop and asked if he’d actually read the part where she wrote about waiting for the right moment to make him see they belong together.