My Husband’s Girl Best Friend Told Me He’s Only With Me Because She Was Married

He agreed without hesitation and I saw genuine remorse on his face. But I also knew that remorse wasn’t the same as actual change.

I explained that I needed to see consistent action over time, not just promises made in a moment of crisis when he was scared of losing me. We made a plan for him to find a therapist within the week and for us to start couples counseling as soon as possible.

I told him that if he missed appointments or didn’t take it seriously, I was done trying. Jar nodded and reached for my hand, but I pulled away.

I told him that physical comfort wasn’t something he’d earned back yet. We finally went to bed in separate rooms around 3:30 in the morning, both of us exhausted but knowing sleep wouldn’t come easy.

Over the next week, Lily continued trying to contact Jar through every method she could think of. Since he’d blocked her number, she sent emails to his work account and personal account.

She messaged him through social media platforms we’d forgotten he even had accounts on and created new accounts when he blocked those too. Each message swung wildly between love bombing him and vicious attacks on me.

She called me every name she could think of and blamed me for destroying their friendship. I screenshot everything and added it to our growing file of evidence.

I watched the pattern of her obsession play out in digital form. Jar looked more disturbed with each new message, finally seeing clearly what everyone else had been trying to tell him about Lily’s unhealthy fixation.

She sent him photos from college with captions about how happy they used to be. Then she followed up with messages saying I’d never understand him the way she did.

One night she sent 17 messages in two hours. Each one was more desperate than the last, begging him to remember their connection and promising she could make him happier than I ever could.

Dylan came over that weekend with a security consultant friend to help us install cameras around our house and change all the locks. He explained that stalkers often escalate when they lose access to their target.

The cameras would give us evidence if Lily tried to show up again. Jar looked embarrassed that we needed these precautions because of someone he’d called his best friend for years, but he helped with the installation without complaining.

We put cameras at the front door, back door, and driveway, all connected to an app on both our phones so we could check them from anywhere. Dylan’s friend also installed motion sensor lights around the perimeter of the house.

He showed us how to set up alerts if anyone approached the property. The whole process took about four hours and cost more money than I wanted to spend.

I knew it was necessary to feel safe in our own home. Jamar kept apologizing while we worked, saying he never imagined his friendship with Lily would lead to us needing security cameras and new locks.

I didn’t respond because there wasn’t anything to say that would make the situation less awful. The next morning I woke up to texts from three different people asking if Jamar and I were okay because Lily had posted something weird on Facebook.

I checked her profile and saw a long post about fake friends and people who stab you in the back after you give them everything. She didn’t name us, but everyone who knew about their friendship would understand who she meant.

Jamar got similar messages throughout the day from co-workers and mutual friends wanting to know what happened between him and Lily. He sat at the kitchen table staring at his phone, clearly stressed about how to respond to people.

I could see him typing and deleting messages over and over. He was trying to figure out what to say that wouldn’t make things worse but also wouldn’t let Lily paint herself as the victim.

He finally asked me what I thought he should tell people and I said he needed to be honest about why he ended the friendship. I explained that Lily was already controlling the story with her vague posts.

If he stayed silent, people would believe her version where she did nothing wrong and we just turned on her for no reason. Jar looked uncomfortable with the idea of sharing private details.

I reminded him that Lily had a documented history of stalking and obsessive behavior that people needed to know about for their own safety. He agreed to talk to his closest friends and co-workers about the real situation instead of making up some polite excuse about growing apart.

The Confrontation and the Courtroom

The next day at work, Jar sat down with his co-worker Marshall during lunch and explained everything about Lily’s stalking history. He shared Bradley’s divorce revelations and her recent escalating behavior.

Marshall listened carefully and then admitted something that made Jamar go quiet. He said he always thought Lily’s attention toward Jar seemed too much, like she watched him constantly and got upset when he talked to other women at the office.

Jamar asked what he meant. Marshall described how Lily used to show up at their office building sometimes, supposedly to meet Jamar for coffee.

But she’d arrive early and watch through the lobby windows. Marshall had seen her standing outside their floor multiple times, timing her arrival for when Jar usually took his break.

He also mentioned that Lily would get this look on her face, angry and hurt, whenever she saw Jar laughing with female co-workers or talking to new women. Marshall said he brought it up once years ago, suggesting that maybe Lily had feelings Jar should address.

Jar had brushed it off saying Lily was just protective of him like a sister would be. Marshall hadn’t pushed the issue because it wasn’t really his business and Jamar seemed happy to keep Lily around.

Hearing this made Jamar realize how many signs he’d ignored or explained away over the years. He started thinking about all the times Lily found excuses to touch his arm or shoulder during conversations.

How she’d lean in close when they talked, even in group settings. He remembered how she’d get quiet and moody during gatherings where I shared happy stories about our marriage.

She couldn’t stand hearing about our good moments together. He also recalled her jokes about me not being good enough for him.

These were comments she’d make when I wasn’t around about how Jamar deserved someone who understood him better. At the time he’d laughed them off as Lily being overly loyal to him.

But now he saw them as attempts to undermine our relationship and plant doubt in his mind about whether he’d made the right choice marrying me. Jamar came home that evening looking exhausted and told me about his conversation with Marshall.

He told me about all the red flags he was finally seeing clearly. I felt vindicated but also frustrated that it took this long and this much evidence for him to acknowledge what had been obvious to everyone else.

We had our first appointment with Sienna Row two days later. She is a therapist who works with couples recovering from betrayal and broken trust.

Her office was calm with comfortable chairs. She started by asking us each to explain why we were there and what we hope to accomplish through therapy.

I went first and explained the whole situation with Lily. I covered everything from the anniversary party confrontation through Bradley’s revelations to the recent escalation after Jar tried to end contact.