My Husband’s Girl Best Friend Told Me He’s Only With Me Because She Was Married

Sienna listened without interrupting and then asked Jamar to share his perspective on what happened. Jamar talked about how he’d maintained the friendship for years without realizing her feelings weren’t normal or healthy.

He dismissed concerns from me and others because he trusted Lily and believed their friendship was genuine. Sienna asked him some tough questions about why he kept confiding in Lily about our marriage problems instead of working through them with me.

She also asked about the emotional needs Lily was meeting that I apparently wasn’t. This made Jamar uncomfortable, but he tried to answer honestly.

He admitted that Lily made him feel important and admired in ways that felt good, especially during times when our marriage was struggling and he felt like he was failing as a husband. Hearing him say this out loud hurt more than I expected.

It confirmed that he’d been having an emotional affair with someone obsessed with him, even if he claimed not to realize her true intentions. Sienna helped me put words to feelings I’d been struggling to express.

She explained that I felt like I’d been in a competition I didn’t know existed for my own husband’s attention and affection. She asked me to tell Jar directly how it felt knowing that Lily was always there in his mind as an option or backup plan.

I looked at Jar and told him that every time he defended Lily or made excuses for her behavior, it felt like he was choosing her over me and our marriage. I explained that watching him light up around her in ways he didn’t around me anymore made me question whether he actually wanted to be married to me.

Jamar’s face showed real pain hearing this. I could see him understanding for the first time how deeply his actions and choices had damaged our relationship and my ability to trust him.

Sienna let us sit with that heavy moment before gently guiding us toward discussing what steps we each needed to take to start rebuilding trust and connection. Two weeks after Jamar sent Lily the message ending their friendship, I received an email from her directly.

The subject line said we needed to talk. The message was long, several paragraphs claiming she had proof that Jar had pursued her romantically throughout our entire marriage.

She wrote that Jar had told her multiple times that he married me too quickly and regretted his choice. She said he’d promised they’d be together once she was free from Bradley.

Attached to the email were screenshots of text conversations between her and Jar. At first glance, they seemed to support her claims.

I felt sick reading through them, seeing messages where Jar appeared to be flirting with Lily and complaining about me. But something felt off about the screenshots, so I called Dylan and asked him to come look at them with his investigation experience.

Dylan arrived within an hour and I showed him the email and attachments on my laptop. He spent about 30 minutes examining the screenshots carefully, zooming in on different parts and comparing timestamps.

Then he started pointing out inconsistencies that proved Lily had manipulated the images. He showed me how she’d deleted her own messages from the conversations, leaving only Jamar’s responses, which looked bad without context.

She’d also rearranged the timeline, taking messages from different conversations months apart and putting them together to create a false narrative. Dylan explained that she’d used editing software to make it look seamless.

But if you looked closely at the metadata and formatting, you could see where she’d cut and pasted. He pulled up the original conversations on Jar’s phone to compare.

We could see that Jar’s actual messages were innocent responses to things Lily had said first. Without her parts of the conversation, they looked like he was initiating romantic contact.

The level of planning and technical skill Lily put into creating these fake screenshots scared me. It showed how far she was willing to go to support her delusion that Jar wanted her.

Dylan said this kind of evidence manipulation was common with stalkers who need to justify their obsession by convincing themselves and others that their feelings are reciprocated. I saved everything Dylan showed me about the manipulation and added it to our growing file of evidence against Lily.

The next day I contacted Brady Moss, an attorney who handles stalking and harassment cases. Brady’s office was downtown and he had me bring all our documentation.

Everything from Bradley’s original revelations through the recent emails and Lily’s violation attempts. He spent over an hour reviewing the timeline we’d created, the screenshots of Lily’s messages, the police report, and the evidence of her manipulated conversations.

When he finished reading everything, he looked up.

“We had a strong case for a restraining order based on Lily’s established pattern of obsessive behavior going back years.”

He explained that the fact she’d escalated after being clearly told to stop contact showed she posed a real threat. The fact that she’d shown up at our home despite warnings and that she was now creating false evidence showed she was a threat to our safety and well-being.

Brady said he could file for a temporary restraining order immediately and we’d have a court hearing within a few weeks to make it permanent. He warned us that Lily would likely get worse before she got better.

Stalkers often react badly to legal consequences, seeing them as further proof that their target is being controlled or manipulated by others. I signed the paperwork authorizing Brady to move forward and left his office feeling both relieved and anxious.

Brady filed the paperwork the next morning and called me that afternoon to say Lily had been served at her apartment. The process server reported she tried to refuse the papers at first, claiming they had the wrong person.

She eventually took them after he explained he’d just keep coming back. The court date for the permanent restraining order was set for three weeks out, which felt like forever when I thought about Lily having that much time to react.

Brady warned me that stalkers often get worse when faced with legal consequences. They see restraining orders as proof their target is being controlled or manipulated by others.

He told me to document everything, save every message or call, and contact police immediately if Lily showed up anywhere near us. I felt sick thinking about three more weeks of waiting and wondering what Lily would do next.

Jamar and I spent that evening going over safety protocols Dylan had helped us establish. We made sure our security cameras were working and our doors stayed locked.

Two days later Jar got a message on social media from an account he didn’t recognize with a profile picture of a random landscape photo. The message said Lily just wanted to explain her side before the court hearing.

She said she deserved a chance to tell her story and that Jar owed her at least that much after all their years of friendship. Jar showed me immediately and we both recognized Lily’s writing style in the desperate tone.

She’d created a fake account to get around the temporary restraining order that specifically said no contact, direct or indirect. I took screenshots of everything while Jar blocked the account and then I called Brady to report the violation.

Brady sounded almost pleased when I told him what happened. He explained that violations this quick after a restraining order is issued actually strengthen our case significantly.

He said judges take restraining order violations very seriously, especially when they happen within days of the order being served. It demonstrates the person is unlikely to comply without serious legal consequences.

Brady filed the violation documentation with the court that same day. The violation gave me a weird mix of relief and fear because it proved we needed the restraining order, but also showed Lily wasn’t going to respect boundaries.

That weekend Jamar’s parents called after hearing about the restraining order through mutual friends. His mom sounded confused and worried, saying they’d always thought Lily was such a nice girl and a good friend to Jar.