My Husband’s Girl Best Friend Told Me He’s Only With Me Because She Was Married

I could hear Jar’s voice get shaky as he explained the whole situation to them on speakerphone. He told them about Lily’s stalking history, her obsession that Bradley documented, and her recent escalation.

He finally said clearly what he’d been avoiding for weeks. Lily was never really his friend, but someone obsessed with him who manipulated her way into our lives.

His parents had unknowingly helped her maintain that access. His mom went quiet for a long minute after Jar finished explaining everything.

Then she apologized for encouraging Jamar to keep Lily close over the years and for inviting her to family events. She apologized for telling Jamar he was lucky to have such a devoted friend.

She said she’d noticed Lily seemed a bit clingy and possessive, but she thought it was harmless, just Lily being affectionate. Jamar’s dad added that he felt guilty for not seeing the signs and for making Jar feel like cutting off Lily would be cruel or ungrateful.

They promised to support us completely through the court process and to stop any contact with Lily if she tried reaching out to them. The three weeks until the court hearing crawled by with no further contact from Lily, which somehow felt more ominous than her previous constant presence.

The morning of the hearing I put on a conservative dress and Jar wore a suit. Both of us were trying to look as credible and stable as possible.

Brady met us outside the courtroom and reviewed what would happen, who might testify, and what questions the judge might ask. Then we walked in and I saw Lily sitting at a table with her own lawyer.

She was wearing a soft pink sweater and looking small and sad, like she was the victim in all this. Her lawyer was a woman in her 50s who kept patting Lily’s hand and shooting angry looks at Jar and me.

When the hearing started, Lily’s lawyer tried to paint her as a heartbroken friend who’d been abandoned without explanation. She claimed Jar had led Lily on for years with inappropriate attention and intimate conversations.

Then her lawyer said I was an abusive and controlling spouse who was isolating Jar from his support system. She said I was manipulating him against people who genuinely cared about him.

I felt my face get hot listening to these lies, but Brady had prepared me for this strategy. Brady presented our evidence methodically, starting with Bradley’s testimony about Lily’s behavior during their marriage.

Bradley walked to the witness stand looking nervous but determined. He brought a thick folder of documentation from their divorce proceedings.

He described finding Lily’s folder of Jar photos and hundreds of images saved from social media going back years. He explained about the journal where Lily tracked Jar’s movements and routines.

She wrote entries like they were in a relationship even while she was married to Bradley. The judge listened carefully, asking Bradley specific questions about dates and details.

I watched Lily’s lawyer realize their victim narrative was falling apart. Bradley’s voice stayed steady as he explained that Lily’s obsession with Jar was the primary reason he filed for divorce.

He tried to get her help, but she refused to acknowledge her behavior was problematic. When Brady showed the judge Lily’s recent messages and the fake social media account, I saw the judge’s expression harden.

He looked at Lily and asked her directly why she’d contacted Jamar after being legally ordered not to. She started crying, saying she just wanted closure and didn’t think one message counted as real contact.

The judge granted a three-year restraining order without much deliberation after that. He told Lily that her behavior showed a clear pattern of obsessive fixation that required serious intervention and consequences.

He ordered her to stay at least 500 feet away from both of us, from our home, and from Jar’s workplace. He ordered absolutely no contact, direct or indirect, through any means.

Lily started crying harder, telling the judge he didn’t understand that she and Jar had a special connection that went back years. She said I’d manipulated everyone against her by lying about her intentions.

The judge’s face got stern and he warned Lily that any violation of this order would result in immediate arrest and criminal charges. He said her behavior in court was only confirming his decision to grant the restraining order.

Lily’s lawyer had to physically guide her out of the courtroom while she kept looking back at Jar with tears streaming down her face. Walking out of the courthouse into the bright afternoon sun, I felt relieved that we finally had legal protection.

But I didn’t feel victorious because I knew a piece of paper wouldn’t magically fix Lily’s obsession with my husband. Jamar held my hand tight as we walked to the parking lot.

He said he was sorry for all of it, for not seeing the truth about Lily sooner and for putting me through months of fear and doubt. He apologized for letting someone dangerous stay in our lives so long.

I believed he meant the apology even though sorry didn’t undo the damage or erase the months of manipulation we’d endured. The weeks that followed the courthouse hearing felt like learning to live in a different house, even though we never moved.

Jamar called a security company the next day and two technicians spent an afternoon installing cameras around our property. Front door, back door, driveway, all the angles where someone could approach without us knowing.

I watched the feeds on my phone that first night, checking them every 20 minutes until Jar gently took my phone. He reminded me that constant checking wouldn’t make us safer, just more scared.

We started going to therapy every Thursday evening with Sienna, sitting on her comfortable couch that somehow made hard conversations slightly easier to have. Jamar began telling me everything without me having to ask.

He was texting me when he left work, calling if he’d be 10 minutes late, and showing me his phone when it buzzed even though I didn’t request it. Some days his transparency felt suffocating because it reminded me why we needed it in the first place.

Other days I appreciated seeing him actually try to rebuild what he’d broken. Natalie called me every few days just to check in.

Sometimes she talked about normal sister stuff and sometimes she let me vent about how angry I still felt even though Jar was doing everything right now. She reminded me that healing wasn’t linear.

Some days I’d feel okay and other days I’d want to scream, and both reactions were valid after what I’d been through. Caroline met me for coffee twice a week.

She listened to me process the weird mix of loving Jar while also being furious at him for not protecting our marriage sooner. She never told me what to do, just sat with me in the mess of it all, which helped more than advice would have.

During one therapy session, Sienna asked us to practice a communication exercise where we had to express difficult feelings without getting defensive or shutting down. Jamar went first, admitting he felt pressure to be perfect in our marriage.

He felt like any mistake or bad mood would prove he wasn’t good enough, so Lily’s constant admiration felt easier than facing his own insecurities with me. I listened without interrupting, like Sienna instructed, even though part of me wanted to point out that his discomfort didn’t excuse confiding in someone obsessed with him.