My In-laws Called Me Paranoid Until My Sil Almost Let My Baby Fall Out Of A Second-story Window. Now They’re Threatening To Sue Me For Cutting Her Off. What Do I Do?

Legal Advice

Three days later a thick envelope arrived in our mailbox. The return address was Keith’s parents’ house and inside was a typed letter on nice paper. Keith’s mother had written it and his father had signed it too. The letter said they understood we were upset and needed space, but they were Lily’s grandparents and wanted to be part of her life.

They promised Bridget would not be present at any visits and suggested we could meet at a park or restaurant where we’d feel comfortable. They said they’d been thinking about everything that happened and realized they should have listened to my concerns sooner. The letter ended by asking us to please consider letting them see their granddaughter under whatever conditions we felt were necessary.

Keith read it twice and then handed it to me. I read it and felt torn in half. These were Lily’s grandparents and part of me wanted her to have that relationship, but they’d stood in our living room and called me paranoid while their daughter was upstairs putting my baby next to an open window.

Keith asked what I thought, and I said I didn’t know. We spent that whole evening going back and forth. They were family and they seemed sorry, but their judgment had been so bad when it mattered most. We made an appointment with a lawyer the next week. His name was Garrett and his office was in a building downtown with a waiting room that smelled like old carpet.

When he called us back, Keith explained the whole situation while I held Lily. Garrett listened and took notes and asked questions about specific incidents. When Keith finished, Garrett leaned back in his chair and said that in our state, grandparents don’t have automatic visitation rights. He explained that unless they could prove denying access would harm Lily, we were within our rights to limit or refuse contact.

Keith looked relieved, but Garrett held up his hand and said that didn’t mean they wouldn’t try to fight it in court. He asked if we had documentation of everything that happened, and Keith said we had hospital records from the honey incident and the fall. Garrett said that was good but we needed more. He told us to write down every dangerous incident with dates and times, every dismissive response from Keith’s parents, every attempt at contact after we set boundaries.

He said, “If this turned into a legal battle over grandparent visitation we’d need a clear record showing why we limited access.”

The appointment cost $300 and we left feeling more worried than when we arrived. That night after Lily was asleep Keith sat at the computer composing an email to his parents. He must have started over six times. I watched him type and delete and type again. Finally, he had something he thought worked.

The email said we appreciated their letter and their apology. It said we needed at least 3 months of no contact to heal and establish our family boundaries. It said after that time we’d consider supervised visits but only if they acknowledged the seriousness of what happened and respected our parenting decisions going forward.

Keith read it out loud to me and asked if it sounded okay. I said it sounded fair. He stared at the send button for a full minute before clicking it.

The Response

His parents responded the next morning. The email was short and angry. His mother said Keith was abandoning his family and that I’d clearly turned him against them. She said she’d never forgive us for keeping her granddaughter away and that we were being cruel.

His father’s part was worse. He said if we didn’t allow reasonable visitation they’d have no choice but to pursue their legal rights as grandparents. Keith read the email at breakfast and his hands were shaking. He showed it to me and I felt my stomach drop. The threat was right there in writing.

I called Garrett’s office and left a message about the email. He called back that afternoon and said the threat actually helped our case because it showed they were more focused on their rights than on Lily’s safety. But he said we needed to take the documentation seriously now.

I spent the next week writing everything down. I started with the water bottle when Lily was 3 weeks old and worked forward through every incident I could remember: the blankets and stuffed animals in the crib, leaving her on the changing table, the improperly buckled car seat, the honey that sent us to the emergency room, the intervention where they called me paranoid, the open window.

I included dates and times as best as I could remember them. Keith read what I’d written and added details I’d forgotten. We called both hospitals and requested copies of the records. The first hospital sent them within a few days; the second one said it would take 2 weeks. We put everything in a folder that got thicker every time we added to it.

Stalking

Then Bridget started showing up places. The first time was at the grocery store on a Tuesday morning. I was pushing the cart with Lily in her car seat, and I looked up and there was Bridget three aisles over. She was just standing there looking at us. When I saw her I grabbed the cart and went straight to the checkout without getting half of what I needed. My hands shook so bad I could barely swipe my credit card.

The second time was at Lily’s pediatrician office for her checkup. I was sitting in the waiting room and Bridget walked past the window outside. She didn’t come in but she walked past three times during our appointment. I told the receptionist and she said there was nothing they could do about someone walking on a public sidewalk.

The third time was at the park near our house. I’d taken Lily for a walk and stopped to sit on a bench. Bridget was sitting on a bench about 50 ft away. She didn’t approach us or say anything but she was watching. I picked up Lily and walked home fast, looking over my shoulder the whole way.

Keith called Bridget that night. I could hear him from the other room even though I couldn’t make out the words. His voice was loud and angry. When he came back he said he told her that what she was doing was stalking and we’d get a restraining order if it continued. He said she acted innocent and claimed she had a right to shop at the same stores and visit the same places we did.

Technically she was right; she wasn’t breaking any laws by existing in public spaces. But it was so clearly intentional. She knew where we’d be and she made sure we saw her. After that I started having panic attacks every time I needed to leave the house with Lily. My chest would get tight and I couldn’t breathe right. I’d imagine Bridget showing up wherever we were going. I’d picture her trying to take Lily or cause another accident.

Keith had to come with me to the grocery store because I couldn’t do it alone anymore. At my next appointment Elena taught me some breathing exercises to use when the panic started. She had me practice noticing five things I could see, four things I could touch, three things I could hear, two things I could smell, and one thing I could taste. It helped a little but not enough.

We made a safety plan for different scenarios. If Bridget approached us in public I’d walk away immediately and call Keith. If she tried to touch Lily I’d yell for help and call the police. If she followed us I’d drive to the police station instead of going home. Having plans made me feel slightly more in control, but I still felt scared every single time I left the house.

Keith called his boss that afternoon and explained everything. He said he needed family leave to help me through a rough time and to protect our baby from a dangerous situation. His employer approved 2 weeks immediately. Keith hung up and told me he was staying home to make sure I felt safe and to be ready if his family tried anything else.