My Mil Hijacked My Baby Shower And Labeled Me As The “Surrogate.” She Even Created A Timeline For When I Should Hand Over My Son. Does She Actually Believe This Is Legal?

Healing and Boundaries

Kendall turned three months old on a Tuesday, and I spent the morning watching her discover her hands like they were the most amazing things in the world. She’d hold them up in front of her face and stare at them for minutes at a time, opening and closing her tiny fingers. Trevor came home from work early just to hang out with us, and we laid on a blanket on the living room floor while Kendall kicked her legs and made happy noises.

The best part was that I didn’t spend the whole time looking over my shoulder or checking my phone for crazy messages from Diane. We could just be parents without all the fear and stress that had taken over my entire pregnancy. My body had recovered from the birth better than I expected, and the doctor said everything looked good at my last checkup.

But the bigger recovery was mental: not having to deal with Diane’s constant harassment and threats. I could actually enjoy being a mom instead of feeling like I had to protect Kendall from someone who wanted to steal her. Trevor started going to therapy around the same time, meeting with a counselor twice a week to work through everything with his mother.

He’d come home from sessions looking tired but also lighter somehow, like he was finally putting down weight he’d been carrying for years. One night after Kendall went to sleep, he told me his therapist had helped him see how he’d been making excuses for Diane’s behavior since he was a kid. Anytime she did something controlling or manipulative, he’d convince himself it was because she loved him so much or she was just worried.

His therapist called it enabling, and Trevor was learning to recognize when he fell into those old patterns. He practiced setting boundaries in therapy, role-playing conversations where he stood firm instead of backing down when Diane cried or guilt-tripped him. I could see the difference in how he talked about his mom now.

He still felt sad about the whole situation, but he wasn’t making excuses for what she’d done or suggesting we should just give her another chance without real proof of change. We celebrated Kendall’s three-month milestone with a small gathering at our house on Saturday afternoon. Margot brought a chocolate cake she’d made, and Julia came with her kids who were fascinated by how tiny Kendall was.

Trevor’s father showed up right on time with a wrapped present under his arm. He asked if it was okay to take a few photos before he even pulled out his phone, and he sent them just to Trevor instead of posting them anywhere online. While Kendall napped in her bassinet, Trevor’s father mentioned that Diane had asked about her a few times but in a normal way, just wondering how she was doing.

He said Diane hadn’t made any demands about wanting to see Kendall or complained about being kept away. She’d even stopped bringing up the whole grandson fantasy and seemed to accept that Kendall was a girl and that we were her parents. It felt like progress even though we all knew it was still early and Diane could backslide at any point.

The restraining order was set to expire in nine months, and Trevor and I had been talking about whether we should renew it or let it lapse. We scheduled a meeting with Dominic at his office to get his legal opinion on the best approach. He pulled out the file with all the documentation from the original hearing and reminded us how serious Diane’s behavior had been.

The Legal Decision

Then he said that the point of a restraining order wasn’t punishment, it was protection, and we needed to decide if we still needed that level of legal protection. Dominic explained that we could always file a new restraining order if Diane started up again but letting this one expire might give her incentive to keep behaving appropriately. He suggested we make it clear through Trevor’s father that any future contact would depend entirely on Diane respecting our boundaries and that we’d go right back to court if she violated our trust.

We left his office feeling like we had options instead of being locked into one path, which made the whole situation feel more manageable. When Kendall was four months old, I went back to work part-time, just three days a week to start. My boss had been really understanding about everything that happened during my pregnancy, and she’d kept my position open even though I’d taken more time off than originally planned.

It felt good to put on work clothes and have conversations about projects and deadlines instead of diapers and feeding schedules. I loved being Kendall’s mom, but I also needed to be myself sometimes, and work gave me that space. Trevor and I had worked out a childcare routine where his father watched Kendall one day a week, Margot took her another day, and we used a daycare near my office for the third day.

It took some adjusting to get the timing right and figure out all the logistics of bottles and backup clothes and nap schedules, but we got into a rhythm pretty quickly. I was surprised by how much Trevor and I had grown as both individuals and as a team through everything we’d been through with Diane. Julia stopped by one afternoon with her two kids, and we sat in the backyard while the older ones played on Kendall’s baby gym.

Julia watched Kendall grab at the hanging toys and said she couldn’t believe Diane had been so obsessed with taking custody of a baby to raise. She joked that Diane clearly had no memory of how exhausting actual parenting was, especially with a newborn who woke up every few hours. We pulled up photos on Julia’s phone of that baby shower with the custody timeline poster and we laughed at how completely insane the whole thing looked now.

The laminated cards explaining the transfer process, the two gift tables, the signs about getting her baby back. Julia said she still had all the videos saved in three different places in case we ever needed them for legal purposes. We talked about how the situation hadn’t been funny at all when we were living through it—how scared I’d been that Diane might actually try to take Kendall from the hospital or show up at our house in the middle of the night.

But now with some distance and safety, we could see how disconnected from reality Diane’s whole fantasy had been. Six months after Kendall was born, Trevor’s father called to give us an update on Diane. He said she’d been going to therapy consistently for the whole six months without missing a single appointment.

Her therapist had apparently helped her understand that her behavior toward us had been harmful and scary, not just enthusiastic grandparenting. Trevor’s father also mentioned that Diane had started volunteering at a community center three days a week, helping with their meal program for seniors. It sounded like she was finding purpose and structure outside of obsessing over our family, which was exactly what she needed.

We told Trevor’s father we were glad Diane was doing better and making positive changes, but we also made it really clear that any future contact would depend entirely on her continuing that good behavior and respecting whatever boundaries we set. We weren’t going to rush into anything just because she’d had a few good months. We took Kendall to visit my parents for a long weekend when she was seven months old, and it was such a relief to be around family who acted normal.

My mom held Kendall and cooed at her, then handed her right back when Kendall started fussing for me. My dad asked if it was okay to post one photo on his private social media before he shared anything. They asked questions about our parenting choices in a genuinely curious way, not like they were judging us or thought they knew better.

This was how grandparenting was supposed to work: with respect and boundaries and trust. My mom made meals and did our laundry without being asked, but she didn’t try to take over or act like we didn’t know what we were doing. When we left on Sunday, my dad hugged us both and said he was proud of how we handled everything with Diane and protected our family.