My Mil Hijacked My Baby Shower And Labeled Me As The “Surrogate.” She Even Created A Timeline For When I Should Hand Over My Son. Does She Actually Believe This Is Legal?

Support Group Success

A week later, Kylie brought up the idea of a parent support group during one of our regular sessions. She said she ran a group that met twice a month for parents dealing with difficult family dynamics and boundary struggles, and she thought hearing other people’s stories might help us feel less alone. Trevor and I talked about it on the drive home and decided to try one meeting to see if it felt right.

The first meeting was at a community center near Kylie’s office, and there were eight other parents sitting in a circle when we arrived. Kylie did introductions and explained that everything shared in the group stayed confidential, and then she asked if anyone wanted to start. A woman named Sarah talked about her father who kept showing up at her kid’s school despite being told not to, and a man named Mike shared about his mother who created fake social media accounts to spy on his family.

When it was our turn, Trevor and I took turns explaining the situation with Diane and the restraining order and the baby shower incident. People in the group nodded like they understood exactly what we meant, and afterwards, three different people came up to say they’d dealt with similar situations. Going to that group every other week became something we actually looked forward to because it helped to know we weren’t the only ones navigating this kind of family mess.

We shared strategies that had worked for us, like having Dominic review messages and keeping detailed documentation, and we learned new approaches from other parents who’d been dealing with boundary issues for years. One couple told us about their system for supervised visits that gave us ideas for if we ever decided to let Diane see Kendall. By the time Kendall was 18 months old, our life had settled into a rhythm that felt stable and healthy.

Trevor had weekly phone calls with his father that didn’t involve any drama or Diane trying to use him as a messenger. His father came over every few weeks to spend time with Kendall, and he’d started teaching her to recognize animals in picture books. Trevor told me one night that his relationship with his dad was better now than it had been in years because they’d both learned to have boundaries with Diane instead of just managing her chaos.

I’d gone back to work part-time and found a daycare we loved where Kendall was thriving and making little toddler friends. Our house felt peaceful in a way it never had during my pregnancy when I was constantly stressed about Diane’s next move. We had date nights again and talked about things other than legal strategies and safety plans.

The support group had helped us process a lot of the trauma from that first year, and we both felt stronger as individuals and as a couple. When Trevor’s father asked if we’d consider a supervised visit between Diane and Kendall, we didn’t immediately say no like we would have six months earlier. He explained that Diane had been in therapy consistently for a full year and her therapist thought she’d made real progress in understanding why her behavior had been harmful.

The First Meeting

He showed us his phone with a text thread between him and Diane where her messages were brief and appropriate, nothing like the obsessive rambling from before. We told him we needed time to think about it and discuss it with Kylie and Dominic. In our next therapy session, Kylie helped us work through our fears about letting Diane near Kendall and our hopes that maybe she really had changed enough to have some kind of relationship.

We made a list of conditions that would need to be met for us to feel safe, including that the visit had to be at a neutral public location, Trevor’s father had to be present the whole time, and it could only last an hour. Dominic reviewed our conditions and said they were reasonable and gave us good protection. We told Trevor’s father we’d agree to one visit under those specific terms, and if Diane violated any boundary, there wouldn’t be a second chance.

The visit happened at a park near Trevor’s father’s house on a Saturday morning when the weather was nice. We arrived first and picked a picnic table in a visible area where other families were around. Trevor held Kendall on his lap while we waited, and I could feel how tense he was even though he was trying to act calm.

When Diane walked up with Trevor’s father, she looked smaller than I remembered, less threatening somehow. She sat down across from us and said hello in a quiet voice, not reaching for Kendall or making demands. For the first few minutes, nobody really knew what to say.

Trevor’s father asked Kendall if she wanted to see the ducks, and that broke some of the awkwardness. Diane watched Kendall toddle around near the pond and made a few comments about how pretty she was, but she didn’t try to pick her up or call herself grandma or anything that would have crossed our boundaries. When Kendall brought a stick back to the table, Diane smiled but waited for Kendall to approach her instead of grabbing at her.

The whole visit felt stiff and uncomfortable, but it wasn’t the nightmare I’d been afraid of. Diane asked Trevor a couple of questions about his job and told me my hair looked nice, just normal small talk that didn’t veer into manipulation territory. When the hour was up, we said goodbye, and Diane thanked us for letting her come.

She didn’t argue when we started to leave or try to negotiate another visit right then. Two days later, Trevor got a text from Diane that said, “Thank you for the chance to meet Kendall,” and she was sorry for how she’d acted before. The message acknowledged that her previous behavior had been wrong and said she was grateful we were willing to give her any opportunity at all.

Trevor showed me the text, and we both studied it looking for hidden manipulation or guilt trips, but it really did seem genuine. He sent back a brief response saying he appreciated her acknowledgment and we’d be in touch. Over the next few months, we did three more supervised visits with the same conditions, and Diane managed to behave appropriately at each one.

She never tried to hold Kendall without asking, never took photos without permission, never made comments about deserving more time or access. Trevor’s father reported that she still went to therapy and had joined a volunteer program at a senior center, finding ways to feel purposeful that didn’t involve obsessing over our family. We stayed careful and watchful, ready to shut things down if she started slipping back into old patterns, but she seemed to understand that these visits only continued if she respected our rules.

The visits happened every six to eight weeks depending on our schedule, always supervised and always on our terms. One night after Kendall was in bed, Trevor and I sat on our back porch and talked about how different everything was from that terrifying day at the baby shower. We’d gone from me being scared to go to doctor appointments to having a system that actually worked for our family.

Trevor said he was proud of how we’d protected Kendall and ourselves while still leaving room for his mom to change if she was willing to do the work. I agreed that we’d gotten something better than a fairy tale ending where everyone forgave each other and pretended nothing bad had happened. Instead, we had a realistic system with clear boundaries and consequences where Kendall’s safety and our peace of mind came first.

We didn’t have to trust Diane completely or let our guard down, but we also didn’t have to cut her off forever if she was willing to respect our family. Kendall was almost two years old now, and she was such a happy kid, always laughing and exploring and feeling secure in our love. She had relationships with my parents who visited regularly and spoiled her appropriately, with Trevor’s father who read her stories and took her to feed ducks, and with Margot and Julia who were like aunts to her.