My Mil Hijacked My Baby Shower And Labeled Me As The “Surrogate.” She Even Created A Timeline For When I Should Hand Over My Son. Does She Actually Believe This Is Legal?
The Restraining Order
I barely slept the rest of that night; every sound made me think Diane was coming back. Trevor and I were at the courthouse when it opened at 8:00 in the morning. We filled out all the paperwork for an emergency restraining order and attached copies of everything we had, including the cease and desist letter, the incident report from last night, and photos from the baby shower.
The clerk said a judge would review it that day and we should get a call about whether it was approved. We went home, and I tried to eat something, but I felt sick. My phone rang at 2:00 in the afternoon, and it was the courthouse saying the judge had granted a temporary restraining order.
Diane was prohibited from coming within 500 feet of us or our home. The order was good for two weeks until we could have a full hearing where a judge would decide whether to make it permanent. The clerk said the sheriff’s department would serve Diane with the order that day so she would know about it officially.
I felt like I could finally breathe a little bit. Trevor looked relieved but also sad. I knew this was hard for him even though it was necessary.
A Father’s Revelation
That evening, Trevor’s father called his cell phone. Trevor put it on speaker so I could hear. His dad said he heard about what happened last night, and he wanted to apologize for Diane’s behavior. He said he should have warned us sooner about how she could get when she became focused on something.
Then he told us something I didn’t know. He said he divorced Diane fifteen years ago, and one of the main reasons was because of her controlling behavior and the way she would become obsessed with things. He said over the years since the divorce, he had watched her get worse, and the situation with the baby had pushed her completely over the edge.
Trevor asked why he never said anything before, and his dad said he hoped she would stay stable and he didn’t want to interfere in Trevor’s relationship with his mother. But now he could see that staying quiet had been a mistake. He said if we needed him to testify at the restraining order hearing, he would do it.
He would tell the judge everything he had seen over the years. Trevor thanked him and said we would let him know. After the call ended, Trevor just sat there staring at his phone.
I asked if he was okay, and he said he didn’t know. He said his whole life he thought his parents’ divorce was because they grew apart, but now he was learning it was because his mom had serious problems.
Therapy and Validation
The next day I called a therapist named Kylie Armstrong that Julia had recommended. Kylie specialized in family boundary issues and pregnancy stress. I got an appointment for two days later.
When I went to see her, I explained everything that had been happening with Diane. Kylie listened and took notes, and then she said something that made me feel so much better. She said my fear was completely reasonable given what I had been dealing with. She said,
“Sometimes people try to tell themselves they’re overreacting, but in my case, I was actually underreacting if anything.”
A woman who believed she had the right to take my baby and who showed up at my house at midnight screaming was absolutely someone I should be afraid of. Kylie taught me some strategies for managing my anxiety when I felt it getting too high. She also said the stress I was under could affect my blood pressure and the baby, so it was important I had support.
We made a plan to meet once a week until after the baby was born. Having someone validate that I wasn’t crazy for being scared helped more than I expected. Meanwhile, Julia was putting together a complete record of everything Diane had done.
