My Pick Me Friend Constantly Puts Me Down In Front Of My Boyfriend While Pretending

The “One of the Boys” Narrative

My pick me friend constantly puts me down in front of my boyfriend while pretending she was just one of the guys. I made her realize that she picked the wrong target.

She’d show up to our dates uninvited.

She said “Nathan had texted her to join because he needed a break from couple intensity and preferred hanging with someone chill.”

She’d sit between us at movies and lean on Nathan’s shoulder while saying she wasn’t like other girls who got jealous about physical contact between friends. She’d order beer and wings when I ordered salad.

Then loudly announced “that she loved how she could eat real food instead of pretending to like rabbit food for male attention even though I genuinely preferred salad.”

When Nathan complimented my dress, Zoe would say she could never wear something so high maintenance and preferred clothes she could actually move in while doing an unnecessary cartwheel in her shorts. She’d interrupt our conversations to challenge Nathan to video game competitions.

Then she would gloat “that she was the only girl who could beat him while I didn’t even know how to hold a controller properly.”

She constantly told Nathan how lucky he was to have a female friend who didn’t get emotional about everything and could take jokes without crying like his girlfriend did whenever he was mean. I’d never cried in front of Nathan, but Zoe created this narrative that I was oversensitive while she was the cool girl who understood men.

The Birthday Party Betrayal

At Nathan’s birthday party, Zoe gave him concert tickets for just the two of them.

She said “girlfriends never appreciated good music anyway and she knew I’d just complain about the noise.”

She announced to everyone “that she’d gotten Nathan the perfect gift because she actually paid attention to his interests unlike some people who just bought generic cologne.”

She spent the entire party sitting on Nathan’s lap claiming all the chairs were taken even though there were empty seats everywhere. When I tried to give Nathan his actual gift, Zoe grabbed it first and opened it herself.

She declared “the watch I’d saved for was nice but boring compared to an actual experience with someone fun.”

She then challenged all the guys to shots and made fun of me for only drinking wine like a typical basic girl who couldn’t handle real alcohol. When I confronted Zoe about her behavior, she spoke.

She said “I was being exactly the kind of dramatic girlfriend that made guys prefer hanging with girls like her who kept things simple.”

She said “Nathan clearly enjoyed having a female friend who didn’t make everything about romance and jealousy.”

She actually said “she felt sorry for Nathan being stuck with someone so insecure that I couldn’t handle him having a cool female friend.”

She said “guys like Nathan needed breaks from clingy girlfriends and she was providing a service by being his escape from relationship drama.”

The Strategy of the Cool Girl

That’s when I decided to show Zoe exactly who she was dealing with. I started by befriending her crush Alex, who she’d been trying to impress for months with her pick me behavior.

I invited Alex to group hangouts and acted like the ultimate cool girl around him but better than Zoe. I’d laugh at his dumb jokes louder than her, drink more shots than her, and beat his high scores in games she couldn’t even play.

I’d casually mention how some girls tried so hard to be one of the guys that it became desperate and embarrassing while looking directly at Zoe. Alex started following me around asking why all girls couldn’t be as chill as me.

Next, I organized a girls’ night and invited everyone except Zoe. Then I posted about how amazing it was to have female friends who supported each other instead of competing for male attention.

When Zoe saw the posts, she texted asking why she wasn’t invited.

I replied “that it was for girls who actually liked being girls, not Pikmis who thought femininity was weakness.”

All our mutual friends started recognizing Zoe’s behavior and calling her out for constantly putting other women down to seem special. The real satisfaction came when I threw a party.

Setting New Boundaries

I specifically told everyone it was a couples and singles event where people should bring their boyfriends or come alone ready to mingle. Zoe showed up expecting to hang all over Nathan, but I’d already warned him about her game.

I watched Zoe’s face change when Nathan put his arm around me and said we needed to leave soon for our early morning plans. Her smile got tight around the edges.

She tried to act normal by suggesting “the three of us should grab breakfast together tomorrow.”

Nathan told her “we already had plans”

He did so without even glancing at me for permission, and I felt something shift in my chest because he was finally setting boundaries without me having to ask. Zoe’s eyes darted between us.

She laughed too loud while saying “she was just trying to be friendly”

But nobody was buying it anymore. Heather appeared next to me near the kitchen and touched my elbow, pulling me away from the group.

She leaned in close and admitted “she’d been watching Zoe put me down for months but kept thinking maybe she was reading too much into it.”

Watching Zoe tonight made everything click into place for her, and she asked if I was okay dealing with this constantly. I told her honestly that it had been wearing me down but I was handling it.

Heather squeezed my hand while saying “she wished she’d spoken up sooner.”

We rejoined the party and I noticed other people were treating Zoe differently now, keeping more distance and not laughing at her jokes the same way.