My Pick Me Friend Constantly Puts Me Down In Front Of My Boyfriend While Pretending

A Night of Real Friendship

I opened my phone and pulled up my texts with Heather, my fingers moving fast across the screen. I asked if she wanted to organize a girls’ night this weekend with some of our friends.

She responded within minutes saying “she was totally in.”

We went back and forth planning a movie night at her apartment with wine and takeout. I started creating a group chat with Heather, Cavia, and three other girls from our friend group.

I deliberately scrolled past Zoe’s name in my contacts and didn’t add her to the chat. Nobody asked why she wasn’t included.

I felt a small rush of satisfaction knowing our whole group had noticed her behavior even if nobody said it out loud. Friday night arrived and I showed up at Heather’s apartment with two bottles of wine and my favorite blanket.

The apartment smelled like pizza and popcorn and everyone was already spread across the couch and floor in comfortable clothes. We started the first movie but nobody really watched it because we kept pausing to talk and laugh about random things.

Cavia mentioned halfway through the night how exhausting it was being around people who constantly put other women down, and the room went quiet for a second. Heather agreed immediately.

She said “she’d been thinking the same thing lately.”

Another girl named Maya shared a story about a friend from high school who used to do the same pick me stuff and how draining it was to be around. Everyone started sharing their own experiences with girls who competed instead of supported.

I realized our whole friend group had been quietly noticing Zoe’s pattern for months. Nobody said her name directly, but we all knew exactly who we were talking about.

The conversation felt good and real instead of fake and I remembered why I actually liked hanging out with these girls. Heather grabbed her phone and suggested we take a group photo.

She said “we should post it with a caption about supporting your female friends”

Everyone agreed. I hesitated for just a second thinking about how Zoe would feel seeing it, but then I remembered her sitting on Nathan’s lap at his birthday party.

I remembered her telling everyone I bought boring gifts. I remembered every time she made me feel small in front of my boyfriend and I told Heather the caption sounded perfect.

We squeezed together on the couch and took several photos until we got one where everyone looked good. Heather typed out the caption about real friends lifting each other up and tagged everyone in the photo before hitting post.

The Mask Slips

My phone buzzed less than an hour later with a text from Zoe asking why she wasn’t invited to girls’ night. She said she thought we were all friends and she didn’t understand what was going on.

I stared at the message for a minute before typing back “that it was specifically for girls who lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.”

I added a thinking face emoji at the end to make it completely clear I was calling out her behavior. My phone started ringing immediately with her name flashing across the screen.

I let it go to voicemail and kept talking to the girls around me. A few minutes later I checked the voicemail and listened to Zoe’s defensive, angry voice.

She claimed “I was being a jealous girlfriend who couldn’t handle Nathan having female friends.”

She said “I was trying to turn everyone against her for no reason and she didn’t deserve to be treated like this.”

I screenshot the voicemail transcript where she specifically called me a jealous girlfriend and sent it to Heather.

I added a caption saying “this was exactly the problem we’d been talking about.”

Heather showed it to Maya and another girl from the group and suddenly everyone was agreeing that Zoe’s pattern of putting me down had gone too far. The consensus formed quickly.

The Boyfriend’s Epiphany

Nathan texted me during our date night two days later asking about the social media post he’d seen. We were sitting at our favorite restaurant and I could tell he’d been thinking about how to bring it up.

I explained honestly that Zoe had been making me feel bad about myself for months and I needed time with friends who actually supported me instead of competed with me. I watched his face shift from confused to uncomfortable.

He admitted he’d been noticing things too, like how Zoe always had to mention she wasn’t like other girls or how she put me down in ways that seemed like jokes but really weren’t. He apologized for not speaking up sooner.

He said “he didn’t realize how much her behavior was affecting me.”

I felt relief wash over me knowing Nathan was finally seeing what I’d been dealing with. He reached across the table and took my hand and promised to be more aware going forward.

Alex started texting me more frequently over the next few days sending memes and asking my opinion on music. I responded enthusiastically to everything and made sure our conversations felt fun and easy.

I knew Zoe could probably see him online and active but not messaging her, and the thought made me feel vindictive and guilty at the same time. I invited Alex to join Nathan and me for lunch with Julian.

We met up on Tuesday and I made sure to include Alex in conversations naturally while also being affectionate with Nathan so everyone understood the boundaries. Alex seemed relaxed and happy.

I could tell he appreciated being treated like a person instead of a prize to be won. Julian mentioned later when Alex went to get napkins that Alex had told him I was really cool.

He asked “if Nathan minded him hanging out with us.”

Nathan apparently said “he was glad I was making friends with his friends”

The comment made me feel weird. Part of me felt good that my plan was working but another part felt guilty about my actual motivations for befriending Alex in the first place.

I tried to shake off the weird feeling by focusing on the rest of lunch with Alex. He talked about his engineering project and I asked questions that showed I actually cared about the answers.

Nathan kept his hand on my knee under the table and I could tell he noticed how different this felt from when Zoe forced herself into our conversations. Alex mentioned he had to head to his afternoon lab and thanked us for inviting him.

Nathan walked him partway to the engineering building while I stayed behind to throw away our trash. Julian caught up with me at the trash cans and pulled me aside near the bike racks.

He said “Alex had texted him earlier asking if Nathan was cool with him hanging out with us more.”

Julian showed me the message on his phone where Alex said I was really cool and easy to talk to unlike some people who made everything weird. Nathan apparently told Alex he was glad I was making friends with his friends and thought it was good for the group dynamic.

Julian looked at me with this knowing expression.

He asked “if I was actually trying to be friends with Alex or if something else was going on.”

I felt my face get hot and told him I genuinely liked talking to Alex but I also wouldn’t mind if Zoe noticed he preferred spending time with people who treated him like a person. Julian nodded slowly.

He warned me “to be careful because using people as revenge tools usually backfired on everyone involved.”

I appreciated his honesty even though it made me feel guilty about my motivations. Two days passed before Zoe made her move.