My Pick Me Friend Constantly Puts Me Down In Front Of My Boyfriend While Pretending

The Campus Showdown

I walked out of my psychology class Thursday afternoon and found her waiting by the building entrance with her arms crossed. She stepped directly into my path and asked why I was suddenly all over Alex.

Her voice was loud enough that other students glanced over as they walked past. I kept my expression calm and told her I was just being friendly since Alex was part of our group.

She moved closer and said “I knew exactly what I was doing and she wanted to know why I was trying to steal someone she’d been interested in for months.”

I pointed out that being interested in someone didn’t give her ownership of them and if she had a problem with Alex having other friends maybe she should think about why she felt so threatened. Her face went red.

She said “this wasn’t about feeling threatened; it was about me being manipulative and using Alex to get back at her.”

I felt my heart racing but kept my voice steady as I told her it was interesting she recognized manipulative behavior when someone else did it. She demanded to know what that meant.

I said “constantly putting me down to seem cool to Nathan was pretty manipulative too.”

Her mouth opened and closed like she wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words. I watched her face shift from angry to defensive as she realized I wasn’t backing down this time.

She recovered quickly and accused me of being a hypocrite who was now doing the exact same thing to her. I told her there was a difference between befriending someone genuinely and using someone as a prop to make yourself look better.

She said “I was lying to myself if I thought my sudden interest in Alex was genuine and everyone could see through it.”

Her voice kept getting louder and I noticed more students stopping to watch our argument. A few people had their phones out and I realized this was becoming a public scene.

She pointed her finger at my chest and said “I was trying to steal Alex away from her even though they were never together.”

I stepped back from her finger and said that was exactly my point about not owning people. She called me a fake friend who pretended to be nice while secretly being jealous and insecure.

I felt anger rise in my throat and told her I’d been nothing but nice to her for months while she made me feel bad about myself in my own relationship. She laughed this bitter sound.

She said “if I felt bad it was because I knew deep down Nathan preferred hanging with her.”

That crossed a line and I told her Nathan had been noticing her behavior too and he was starting to see how she treated me when she thought she could get away with it. Her face went pale.

Then it went bright red again as she realized Nathan might actually be aware of what she’d been doing. The small crowd of watching students had grown bigger and people were definitely recording now.

Zoe looked around and seemed to notice everyone staring for the first time. She called me a manipulative liar one more time and then stormed off toward the parking lot.

I stood there trying to catch my breath while my hands shook from the adrenaline. Two girls from my psychology class approached me once Zoe was gone.

The taller one with curly hair said “she’d been in situations with Pikmi girls before and she was glad I stood up for myself.”

The other girl agreed and mentioned she’d noticed Zoe’s behavior at a party last semester where Zoe spent the whole night putting down other girls while trying to impress guys. They both said they respected me for calling it out instead of just taking it.

I thanked them but felt this weird mix of satisfaction and nausea about what just happened. Part of me felt good about finally confronting Zoe directly, but another part felt sick about doing it so publicly.

A Vindicated But Gross Feeling

I walked back to my dorm in a daze and found Cavia studying at her desk. She took one look at my face and asked what happened.

I told her about the confrontation with Zoe outside my class and how it turned into this public argument with people recording. Cavia closed her laptop and gave me a hug.

She said “she was proud of me for setting boundaries and not letting Zoe walk all over me anymore.”

But she also asked if I was okay with how intense things were getting between us. I admitted I felt vindicated but also kind of gross about the whole thing becoming such a public spectacle.

Cavia said “that made sense and it showed I wasn’t just being cruel for fun.”

She pointed out that standing up for yourself and enjoying someone else’s humiliation were two different things. I sat on my bed and tried to process everything while Cavia made us both tea.

She asked “if I thought this would make things better or worse with Zoe”

And I honestly didn’t know. Part of me hoped Zoe would finally back off, but another part worried she’d just get more aggressive.

My phone rang around 7:00 that evening and Nathan’s name flashed on the screen. I answered and he immediately asked if I was okay because Zoe had texted him.

He said “she was claiming I attacked her unprovoked on campus.”

He said he knew that wasn’t true based on everything he’d seen lately, but he wanted to hear my version. I explained the whole confrontation.

Nathan listened quietly and then said “he believed me completely.”

But he also said “he was worried about me getting caught up in drama that might not be worth my energy.”

I felt frustration rise because it sounded like he was still somewhat defending Zoe by suggesting I should just ignore her. I told him ignoring her hadn’t worked for months while she made me feel bad in my own relationship.

He was quiet for a second and then apologized for making it sound like this was my fault. He said he just didn’t want me to waste emotional energy on someone who clearly wasn’t worth it.

I appreciated his concern but explained that setting boundaries wasn’t wasting energy; it was protecting myself. He agreed and said he’d talked to Zoe about backing off completely.

I was still on the phone with Nathan when he got another call and said it was Julian. He asked if he could call me back in a few minutes. I said sure and hung up.

Nathan called back 20 minutes later and his whole tone had changed.

He said “Julian told him Zoe had been inappropriate for a while and most of their friend group had noticed but nobody wanted to cause drama by bringing it up.”

Julian apparently mentioned that Zoe made similar comments about his girlfriend last year before they broke up. Julian’s girlfriend had complained about Zoe constantly putting her down and making her feel unwelcome.

Julian admitted he hadn’t taken it seriously enough at the time and felt bad about that now. Nathan sounded genuinely shocked as he told me this because he’d had no idea Zoe had done this before.

He apologized again for not seeing the pattern sooner and said he should have listened when I first tried to tell him how Zoe’s behavior was affecting me. I felt relief wash over me.

Nathan finally understood this wasn’t just me being dramatic or jealous. He said he was going to have a serious conversation with Zoe about respecting boundaries.

He added “if she couldn’t do that she wouldn’t be welcome around us anymore.”