My Pick Me Friend Constantly Puts Me Down In Front Of My Boyfriend While Pretending

Nathan read my response and squeezed my hand, and I could tell we were both thinking the same thing about how this party would finally force a confrontation that had been building for months. A few days before the party, Nathan and I sat down for a serious conversation.

I needed to know he was actually on the same page about handling Zoe. He promised he would make it completely clear through his actions that we were a couple and he wasn’t interested in Zoe’s games anymore.

I told him “I needed him to be physically affectionate with me at the party, not in an excessive way but enough that Zoe couldn’t pretend there was any ambiguity about our relationship.”

Nathan agreed and said he’d been thinking a lot about how he’d let Zoe’s behavior slide for too long because he didn’t want to cause drama. He admitted he should have shut down her invasive behavior months ago.

We talked through specific scenarios that might come up, like Zoe trying to sit between us or suggesting Nathan go somewhere alone with her. He promised he’d redirect every time and make our couple status obvious.

I felt way more secure knowing we had an actual plan and Nathan understood what I needed from him. He pulled me close and said he was sorry for not seeing how much Zoe’s behavior had been hurting me.

I believed him and felt like we were finally working as a team instead of me fighting this battle alone. The day before the party Heather called me sounding concerned.

She said “Zoe had been telling people I was trying to publicly humiliate her and that the whole party was designed to embarrass her in front of everyone.”

I felt my jaw tighten because Zoe was trying to play victim before anything had even happened. Heather asked if that was true.

I told her “I was just hosting a normal party with clear boundaries about couples and singles.”

I said “if Zoe felt humiliated by basic social boundaries that was her issue to work through not mine.”

Heather was quiet for a second then said she understood and she’d see me tomorrow. After we hung up I sat on my bed feeling the weight of what I’d set in motion.

Part of me knew I’d been hoping for exactly this kind of confrontation; a public moment where Zoe would have to face the consequences of her behavior. I told myself I just wanted her to stop interfering in my relationship.

But I couldn’t pretend I didn’t also want her to feel small the way she’d made me feel small so many times. The guilt mixed with anticipation in my stomach.

The Night of the Party

Saturday morning I headed to Julian’s house early to help set up. He’d already moved furniture around to create better flow and I started arranging drinks and snacks in the kitchen.

Julian thanked me for helping organize everything and said his house needed a good party anyway. We worked together setting up music and lighting while chatting about random stuff.

I was trying to stay busy so I wouldn’t spiral into anxiety. Cavia showed up around noon with bags of ice and more snacks.

She gave me a long look and asked “if I’d thought about what I actually wanted to accomplish tonight beyond just putting Zoe in her place.”

I stopped arranging cups and considered her question. I admitted I wasn’t totally sure anymore because my feelings were complicated.

Cavia sat down on Julian’s couch and patted the spot next to her. She said gently that wanting Zoe to feel small and wanting her to stop interfering in my relationship might be two different goals.

She asked “which one I was actually pursuing tonight.”

I told Cavia honestly that both goals felt tangled together in my head and I didn’t know how to separate them. She nodded and said she got it.

But she suggested “I should be clear with myself about my real intentions.”

I appreciated her trying to make me think deeper about this, but I also felt defensive because Zoe had earned whatever was coming. Cavia didn’t push further.

People started arriving around 7:00 and the energy felt good right away. Couples came in holding hands and greeting everyone while single friends clustered together near the drinks.

Julian had his arm around some girl he’d been seeing and they looked comfortable together. The music was at a perfect volume and people were mingling naturally.

I stayed close to Nathan. Alex showed up looking nice in a button-down shirt and immediately came over to say hi to Nathan and me.

I introduced him to a few single friends, including this girl Maya who I thought he might actually hit it off with. They started talking about photography.

I felt good about facilitating something genuine instead of just using Alex as a prop. Nathan kept his arm around my waist as we moved through the party and I could feel myself starting to relax.

The couples and singles dynamic was working exactly how I’d hoped with everyone respecting the clear boundaries. Zoe walked in around 8 wearing a tight dress and heels that were way more dressed up than anyone else.

Her eyes immediately scanned the room and I watched her locate Nathan standing with his arm around me. Her face did this thing where it got tight for just a second before she forced a huge smile and started walking toward us.

I felt Nathan’s arm tighten slightly around my waist and I knew he’d seen her too. My heart started beating faster as she got closer.

The Confrontation at the Kitchen Table

Zoe’s smile looked painted on as she reached our group. She walked straight toward us and I watched Nathan’s arm stay firm around my waist.

Zoe got close and tried to wedge herself between us like she always did, but Nathan shifted his body so I stayed tucked against his side. He smiled at her and said hello.

Her eyes darted between us and she suggested “that maybe Nathan wanted to go grab drinks with her.”

Nathan said “that sounded good and we’d all go together.”

He took my hand and started walking toward the kitchen with me right beside him. Zoe followed behind us and I could feel her frustration even though I wasn’t looking at her.

We reached the drinks table and Nathan kept holding my hand while he poured himself a beer. Zoe grabbed a cup and started pouring vodka while complaining loudly.