My Sister Stole My Husband And My Family Sided With Her. Years Later, She Needs My Kidney To Live. I Told Her I’m A Perfect Match—and Then I Said No. What Would You Do?

Found out my husband was cheating with my sister, divorced him, and went no contact with my toxic family. Years later, things took a turn.

Married to my husband Ryan, 32 male, for 6 years. We have a really strong relationship, I would say. The usual couple drama through our years, but we have grown from it and have a loving relationship.

All was well until about 8 months ago when my sister Star, 28 female, moved back to our hometown after living in Florida since she was 18. Her long-term boyfriend dumped her and moved to a new city, leaving her destitute. The circumstances behind their breakup are still largely unknown.

When my sister returned, she told us that he had been cheating with men. I didn’t really know him that well, but that sounded far-fetched. I only met the guy three times, as my sister would only come home for Christmas and usually only stay for 3 to 4 days.

He accompanied her twice during their 5 years together. The other time I met him was when my husband and I visited them for a day during our vacation 3 years ago. He just didn’t strike me as the guy who would have a double life and just leave Star with nothing.

I tried to reach out to him once but found I was blocked, so I just let it go. Star moved back in with my parents, Gina, 55 female, and Jimmy, 56 male. For the first month she was here, she struggled to find work, so I suggested that maybe Ryan could help her out.

He is a higher up at his company and figured he would have some pull. He did, and she was able to get a position in his department. This is a job in her field.

For some background, my sister and I have never been very close. She is the golden child, at least to our mom, and our dad is spineless when it comes to our mom. It’s not super obvious, just a million little things.

For example, we both got cars when we turned 16, but I got an 8-year-old Dodge Neon and she got a 2-year-old Mitsubishi Eclipse. Her dance practices, outfits, and competitions cost thousands of dollars over the years. Some of those competitions were six or seven hours away, and they never batted an eye.

Meanwhile, when I would ask for $50 for a volleyball or basketball camp at the local college in our town, they would give it to me, but you would have thought I was asking them to build me my own arena. What pissed me off the most was when I was 17.

I was out with my boyfriend, lost track of time, and was 15 minutes past curfew. They took my car for a whole month for that. Then, when my sister came home 2 hours late and smelled like pot the next year, she just got a stern talking to.

I wasn’t exactly sad when she left for college and decided to stay in Florida. Despite all of that, she began spending more and more time at our house, which at first I thought was nice as maybe she was making the effort to be closer to me.

Then I started to notice that she and Ryan were getting rather familiar with each other. They would talk about seemingly anything at length. They started having their own inside jokes.

If I tried to include myself, they would say:

“Just a work thing.”

When I asked my husband about it, he just said:

“They had a lot in common and were working on several projects together at work.”

The first real red flag was that after about a month of this, she would be at our house when I got home from work. Ryan and I have different work schedules; while he has a traditional 8 to 4:30 workday, I work 10 to 7. This was pretty often.

When I asked about it, I always got:

“We had some work stuff to do.”

Two months ago, I noticed something that had me questioning my own sanity. I make the bed every day before I leave for work. I always make it so the open side of the pillowcase is toward the edge of the bed.

Star was over that day when I got home. She ate with us, then went back to my parents’ house. As we got in bed, I noticed two of the pillows had the cases end toward the middle.

I asked my husband if he had been in bed today. He looked a little shook but said:

“No, why do you ask?”

I said:

“The bed’s not the same as I made it this morning.”

He told me:

“I must have been mistaken then because no one was in the bed.”

I looked through his phone and laptop without his knowing and found nothing. Then again, they worked together 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, then hung out after work. Why would they need to text?

I felt like I was losing my mind. Two weeks ago, my parents invited us over for dinner. It was going fine until I saw something.

Ryan was simply walking by and Star lightly grabbed his arm. He turned to her and she whispered something, and they touched foreheads together. It was only a second.

Ryan jolted up and kept walking. Star then just kind of looked at me, smiled, and went back to what she was doing. I’m not an idiot; I know this is a mountain of red flags. I just don’t want to believe it.

I have been in love with my husband since I was 21 years old. I planned a weekend getaway to the city. I was going to ask him about things there. I really hoped it wasn’t what I was thinking.

Update: You are all right and my world is destroyed. We went on our weekend adventure. It was a nice Friday night; we had drinks, we danced, we were intimate.

The next day we had more planned and I almost didn’t say anything. I really thought he couldn’t be doing that with her and this with me. I was so wrong.

We were almost ready to start our Saturday and I point-blank asked him if he was having an affair with my sister. He teared up and said:

“Yes, he was.”

My heart crushed. I asked him why. He said:

“He was sorry, he didn’t mean for this to happen. They just clicked and before he knew it, they were kissing, then more.”

I asked if he had been sleeping with her in our bed before I got home from work. He just turned his head in shame. I left at that point.

I had nothing with me but my purse and I drove home without him. He got an Uber and arrived a few hours later with my other things. He tried to apologize, but I didn’t acknowledge him through my tears.

He packed a bag and left for a hotel. The next day I told my parents. They already knew.

They said:

“They were sorry about what happened.”

And told me:

“Star had left last night and might not be back for a few days.”

I’m sure she went to stay with Ryan. That all happened 3 months ago. Our divorce is almost final.

Ryan found an apartment to rent right away and Star moved in with him. I am only contacting him in regard to our divorce. He initially said I could just have the house and the savings.

I think this was guilt talking. Then after a few days, he said that we would have to split the house. I know this was Star in his ear.

I had already moved everything out of the savings into a new account so there was no fight there. Just like that, 9 years of my life were gone. He has no idea what he is getting himself into.

She is a narcissist and will throw him away eventually. Star has been exceedingly cruel during all of this. A few days after I found out, she tagged me in a Facebook post.

It was a selfie of her and him, with him giving her a kiss on the cheek from behind. The caption read, “Feeling loved.” It was disgusting.

I logged out of my account and deleted the app off my phone. She texted me about an hour later saying:

“Sorry sis, didn’t mean to tag you. No hard feelings. I hope we can still be close. You’ll meet your soulmate someday too.”

I blocked her. I blocked her on everything I could think of. My parents haven’t been any better.

They pretended to be sympathetic in the beginning. When I told them I was going no contact with Star and Ryan, my mother looked at me and said:

“I’m sorry this happened. It shouldn’t have happened this way, but your sister deserves to be happy too. You’ll meet someone and then we can put this all behind us.”

I got really upset and told them what Star had tagged me in and the text she sent me. My mother said:

“Well, you shouldn’t be on that stuff anyway.”

My father hasn’t said a thing this whole time. He just sits there. I asked him once what he thought and he just said:

“I agree with your mother.”

Then walked out of the room. I am going full no contact with them as well. The house will sell soon and I’m moving to a different state.

I am not telling any of my family where or when. I haven’t told them that’s my plan. I’m just done with all of them. I wish them all the worst.

Update: Hi everybody. I know it’s been four years since I last updated everyone, but we had a major situation happen. I will start on giving you an update on myself.

I am recently engaged. It took a lot of therapy to get myself back out there. I tried dating right away once I got settled here in Minnesota.

I went on one okay first date and then I got shown just how much of an insufferable ass he was. I swore off men forever after that. That’s when I went to therapy to process all the trauma from the betrayal by my husband and sister, as well as the abandonment by my parents.

It was a hard year of that, but I met James, 37 male. Yes, he has the same first name as my dad, LOL. But James is wonderful.

He’s a chef. He and his fraternal twin brother Jack own a restaurant and bar that’s doing very well. I’m very excited to start a future with James.

Enough about me. Now I would like to tell you about the audacity my family had. Roughly 9 months after I left, I had been totally no contact.

I did not tell them where I moved to. I only told some friends and a couple of cousins I was close to. One day I got home to my apartment and found a wedding invitation in the mail.

It was for the wedding of Ryan and Star. The invitation included a gross picture of them hugging in a sunflower field. There was also a letter from my parents.