My Sister Stole My Husband And My Family Sided With Her. Years Later, She Needs My Kidney To Live. I Told Her I’m A Perfect Match—and Then I Said No. What Would You Do?
Now for the update. After the last time when Ryan tracked me down, I figured it was only a matter of time before my parents or sister showed up. It didn’t happen right away.
I eased up some as I felt I had a full support system and rejoined social media. I stayed no contact with much of my family, including extended, but I also didn’t have any illusions that they wouldn’t be able to find me if they tried. It wasn’t until after our first was born that I got my first message.
It was from my mom. She gave a half-hearted apology, said something about forgiveness, and inquired about her grandson. I was just going to block her, but the implication that my child was her grandchild I found insulting.
So I replied:
“You do not have any grandchildren. I am not your daughter and thus my children have no relation to you. If you want grandchildren, then you should encourage Star to get out there and do what she does best.”
At that point I blocked her. She made new accounts and tried contacting me for a while, but I always just declined or deleted any requests or messages. That brings me to the recent drama.
I was getting bombarded with requests, messages, etc., to contact them. I read some and it was a sob story about missing out on the grandkids’ lives and wanting to make amends. I really didn’t care; I had no intention of ever including them in my life again.
Then the more shocking thing occurred. Star started reaching out to me. She wasn’t saying much other than she very much wanted to speak to me.
After this went on for about 3 weeks, I agreed to a Zoom meeting. Just me, no kids. When it started off, they kept asking to see the kids.
I was steadfast it wouldn’t happen. They had three grandparents and that was it: James’s mom, dad, and grandma. I kind of was getting the idea that this was about something else.
Star looked kind of terrible and my parents were looking old and tired. As we started to talk, they began apologizing for everything that occurred, even Star. She said:
“She was wrong to do what she did and that she wishes she could have her sister back.”
That was a laughable thought. Mom then took over and went into her usual garbage about being a family and looking out for each other. When she was done, I just looked at them and said:
“Is that all you got? I’m going to go.”
Then they yelled for me to wait and the facade dropped. The real reason was about to come out. Apparently, Star has been having health issues for the last couple of years.
For whatever reason, her kidneys are failing and she needs a transplant. That’s why they so persistently tried to get in touch with me. A family member is the most likely to be a viable match.
I asked them directly:
“This is why you call me? You want me to save her after what she did? My husband wasn’t enough, now she needs a body part from me too?”
My mother snapped:
“Stop being like this. All of that was a long time ago.”
She began choking up and crying as she continued:
“I get it, you hate us, but she is going to die if she doesn’t get a transplant soon. Is that what you want? I know you think she wronged you in the worst way, but please just this once can we set that aside?”
I got quiet. I wanted to see if they said more. Eventually Dad actually started to talk.
“Look, we’re sorry for all that happened, but we got some pretty big problems. Between her medical bills and not being able to work, your mom and I are getting older and have our own problems. We got a lot of issues. We need you to come back to Missouri and see if you are a match, but we also could use some help or we might lose the house.”
I said:
“So you need my kidney and my money?”
He replied:
“Don’t put it like that.”
Star chimed in:
“Please just come home. I need my big sister. I don’t want to die. Can you just come and see if you’re a match? If you’re not, we will never contact you again.”
I told them I needed to think about it, do some research, and tonight I would tell them. Tomorrow I ended the call and went to speak to my husband. He told me he supported me 100% whichever way I went.
Then asked if we should all travel as a family or if just he should come. I said no to both. I was going to go and I was going on my own.
I let my former family know I would get lab results here in Minnesota and if I was a match, I’d come there and we could talk about everything else. Then about a week later I got results and it appeared Star and I were a perfect match. I agreed to come back home to St. Charles.
By the time I arrived, Star had begun to have some issues and needed to be admitted to the hospital. This got everyone off my back about meeting for dinner, as I had no intention of doing anything social with these people. Especially since anytime they seem to have a free minute, my parents were inquiring if I had thought about helping them get caught up on their financial struggles.
They managed to stabilize Star. I went to meet with these doctors that would do the transplant. They began going over everything with me and I said I’d like to have this conversation with everyone.
We all went to Star’s room. My parents were already there. The doctor began explaining the situation.
Star had maybe 6 months more without a transplant. They went over the process with us all and made a huge deal about how perfect of a match I was. That the likelihood of finding a more viable donor was minuscule and that the sooner we scheduled the surgery the better.
I then walked over to Star and took her hand. I gazed into her big brown eyes and told her:
“Did you hear that? I am a perfect match. Essentially I’m the only person who can save you. And I’m not going to. You are the most vile, narcissistic piece of gutter trash I have ever known. I only came here so you would know the one person who could keep you alive is the one person you have wronged the most. And now you’re paying for that with your life. You’re going to die. You should make peace with that.”
Star burst into tears and my parents turned to accost me. The doctor and nurse were standing there in total shock. I looked at my parents and said:
“Don’t even talk to me and don’t you dare ever ask me for anything ever again. The only money I would ever spend on you would be for your funeral, under the stipulation that you be cremated and the ashes released to me. At which point I will promptly deposit your remains in the dirtiest John I can find.”
Finished, I walked out of the room and never looked back. I’m back home now, my real home, surrounded by my real family and couldn’t be happier.
