My son’s wife didn’t know I spoke Korean. When I heard what she said about me at that dinner…
The Strength to Be Seen and a Journey to Seoul
The room went silent. I set down my teacup carefully.
I’d been holding this secret for 8 months. This small, private thing was something I’d been learning for myself, for Emily, and for the memory of Paul.
He had wanted us to keep exploring the world even after he was gone. But some secrets are meant to be revealed at exactly the right moment.
I looked directly at Mrs. Yun and responded in Korean.
“I said in Korean” “Yes, I do. Not perfectly, but well enough to understand that my daughter-in-law has been discussing putting me in a nursing home without my knowledge.”
Lisa’s face drained of all color. Daniel’s head snapped up.
“He asked” “What?”
“I continued in Korean, addressing Mr. Kim” “I apologize for the deception. I’ve been learning Korean for the past 8 months. My granddaughter loves Kdramas and I wanted to understand them better.”
“I added” “I didn’t intend to eavesdrop on a private conversation.”
Mr. Kim’s face transformed.
“He responded in Korean” “Mrs. Chen, the deception is not yours. You honor us by learning our language.”
Lisa found her voice.
“She said” “Margaret, I didn’t mean, I was just…”
I switched to English.
“I asked” “You were just what, Lisa? Planning my future without consulting me? Calling me senile?”
“I continued” “Telling these kind people that I’m a burden that needs to be disposed of?”
“Daniel looked between us, confused and alarmed, and asked” “Mom, what’s going on?”
Mrs. Yun spoke up.
“She said” “Mr. Reeves, your wife has been telling us in Korean that she plans to place your mother in assisted living without her consent.”
“She added” “She called Mrs. Chen senile and a burden. She said you would agree to whatever she decided.”
Daniel’s face went from confused to horrified.
“He asked” “She what?”
“Lisa started” “Daniel, that’s not what I meant.”
“I said quietly in Korean” “I understood every word. The language I’ve been studying for 8 months while you and Daniel were too busy to notice.”
“I continued” “The language your wife assumed I was too old and stupid to learn.”
Mr. Kim stood up.
“He said in English” “Mr. Reeves, in Korean culture, the way a person treats their elders reveals their character. Respect for one’s parents and grandparents is fundamental. What I have witnessed tonight is deeply troubling.”
“Lisa pleaded” “Mr. Kim, please. It was a misunderstanding.”
“Mrs. Yun said coldly” “There is no misunderstanding. We understood you perfectly, and so did Mrs. Chen.”
“Mr. Park added” “In Korea, we say that a family with an old person has a living treasure. Your wife treats a treasure like trash.”
Daniel had gone white. He looked at Lisa.
“He asked” “Is this true? Were you really planning to put my mother in a home?”
Lisa’s mask cracked.
“She said” “Daniel, you’re never here. You don’t see how much she interferes.”
“My voice came out stronger than I expected” “Interferes? I help with your children. I respect your boundaries. I wait to be invited.”
“I continued” “And you repay me by planning to warehouse me in assisted living while telling these people I’m senile?”
“Lisa said” “You’re always hovering.”
“I said” “I’m being a grandmother. I’m being a mother. I lost my husband, Lisa. My children and grandchildren are all I have left, and you’ve been treating me like an inconvenience while smiling to my face.”
Daniel stood up.
“He said” “We’re leaving. Mr. Kim, I’m sorry.”
Mr. Kim held up his hand.
“He said” “Mr. Reeves, please sit. Mrs. Chen, please stay.”
Everyone sat slowly. The tension was suffocating.
Mr. Kim spoke carefully.
“He said” “Mr. Reeves, you are a talented businessman. Your company has great potential. But in Korea, we believe business is built on trust and character.”
“He added” “What your wife has demonstrated tonight is a lack of both.”
“Daniel said” “Mr. Kim, I had no idea.”
“Mr. Kim said” “That is also troubling. A man should know what is happening in his own family.”
“He continued” “Mrs. Chen has been learning Korean for 8 months, and you did not notice. Your wife has been planning to remove your mother from your lives, and you did not notice. What else do you not notice?”
The words hung in the air like a judgment. Mrs. Yun turned to me.
“She asked in Korean” “Mrs. Chen, how long did it take you to reach this level?”
“I replied in Korean” “Eight months of study. Classes, apps, conversation practice. I wanted to connect with my granddaughter who loves Kdramas, and I wanted to prove to myself that I’m not too old to learn new things.”
Mrs. Yun smiled.
“She said” “Your pronunciation is quite good. Have you visited Korea?”
“I replied still in Korean” “Not yet. My late husband and I had planned to travel, but he passed away before we could.”
“She said gently” “I am sorry for your loss. You honor his memory by continuing to learn and grow.”
“I said” “Thank you.”
Mr. Kim addressed the table.
“He said” “I will be honest. This deal is very important to my company, but it is more important that we work with people of integrity. Mr. Reeves, I must take time to reconsider.”
Daniel’s face crumbled.
“He said” “Please. This is my wife’s fault, not mine.”
“Mr. Kim asked” “Is it? She is your wife. You chose her. You are responsible for your household. These are your values reflected.”
Lisa stood abruptly.
“She said” “This is ridiculous. Over some old woman’s feelings.”
The temperature in the room dropped 20 degrees. Mrs. Yun stood slowly.
“She asked” “Mrs. Reeves, I am only a few years younger than Mrs. Chen. Am I also some old woman? Is my opinion worthless? Should my family discard me when I become inconvenient?”
Lisa realized her mistake too late.
“She said” “That’s not what I meant.”
“Mr. Kim said quietly” “Leave. Please leave now.”
Daniel tried to speak.
